As he got older the Rabbi had to pull back a bit on the circumcisions..

That's two years in row Christmas has cost me an arm and a leg. It won't happen a third..

I'm sick of Bugs Bunny. Keeps rabbitin' on.

Those old sayings are mostly nonsense, like 'All roads lead to Rome' .. well, there's a road in Rotherham that doesn't. There's a dodgy chippy at one end and it leads to the viaduct..

I heard fellatio leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. I take it with a pinch of salt.

I thought cunnilingus was an airline. Brings a whole new meaning to the term, Frequent Flyer!

My wife has asked for a divorce. I said, surely you don't want to throw 17 years of marriage away? She said she already had.

Cannibal came last in a vomiting contest. Brought up the rear.

Confucius said, Master a job you like and you'll never have to work again. Or if you're Ruby Rubacuori, master a blowjob Berlusconi likes and you'll never have to work again.

I can't take the credit for this as I saw it on facebook.

ATTENTION: A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 FA Cup Final, both box seats. He paid £2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
...it's at St Paul's Church, Peterborough at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.

What happens if you leave your kid in a deranged singer's bed? Mike'll jack son. (Sorry if that's too topical.)

Variation on a joke in this thread I can't find...
It's depressing to eat feathers when you have diarrhea. You feel down in the dumps.

I googled my fetish, 'Horny bitch with massive arsehole dribbling shit,' and... Put me right off my stroke. https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_908w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2016/04/21/National-Politics/Images/2016-04-21T133349Z_01_NYK504_RTRIDSP_3_USA-ELECTION-TRUMP.jpg&w=1484

I took my grandson William out for a walk in the cold weather. I was repeatedly stopped by ladies asking if my little willy was cold. Well, now that you've brought it up...

People keep saying Melania is like Jackie Onassis... Am I the only one to think, 'Please Donald, buy yourself a four-door convertible... You know you want to.'