I wanted that new actor 'Sunni Le Poulet' to star in my screenplay, unfortunately I had already cast Shia Lebouf in the other role. They seem to have some kind of ongoing religious beef, but both chicken out whenever it gets too hot.
On a different subject.
I've always wondered if curtains in cowsheds are called beef curtains?
The last slaughterhouse I went to there was a nordic quintet singing songs about going to fight on the front line. They where called Abba T'War.
Quote: danphobic @ 30th January 2014, 12:03 PM GMTI've always wondered if curtains in cowsheds are called beef curtains?
Just on a technical note, try to avoid using a key word from the punchline, in this case "curtains", in the set up. Remember, a writer's best friend is the Thesaurus, closely followed by the Hob Nob.
People who live in glass slaughterhouses. That's who need beef curtains.
Wow, I itch like cat at a flea circus, like a leper in pepper, like a rash on a dogs ear, like a tramps sack, like a puzzled mans head.
I think I must have analogy.
Nice one dan
The makers of the cartoon Yogi Bear made a boo boo by giving him a sidekick.
*gets coat*
Just having a look through one of my old notepads:
Scientists estimate that it would take 3.5 seconds for a man in a tweed suit to fall to the ground from the top of the empire state building, presumably it would take a lot longer wearing a wig and a dress due to the increase in drag.
I met an orphaned baguette. Must have been difficult being self raising.
The NHS is alot like a Beleiber, it keeps getting cut but nobody cares.
Quote: AndyGilder @ 30th January 2014, 12:48 PM GMTPeople who live in glass slaughterhouses
shouldn't throw bones.
Quote: danphobic @ 30th January 2014, 5:07 PM GMTScientists estimate that it would take 3.5 seconds for a man in a tweed suit to fall to the ground from the top of the empire state building, presumably it would take a lot longer wearing a wig and a dress due to the increase in drag.
Very good pun. But I'd leave out the tweed, it's oddly specific and sends the brain down the wrong path. You could also make it work on both levels, which might be nice:
If a man fell from the Empire State Building, he'd take 3.5 seconds to reach the ground. Stick him in a billowing dress and it takes longer, because of the increase in drag.
I'm sure there's a tidier wording, though.
Quote: danphobic @ 30th January 2014, 1:33 PM GMTWow, I itch like cat at a flea circus, like a leper in pepper, like a rash on a dogs ear, like a tramps sack, like a puzzled mans head.
I think I must have analogy.
,
Very nice. Would finish with 'Leper in pepper' though as it rolls nicely off the tongue.
Quote: Nick81 @ 29th January 2014, 11:11 AM GMTThere were five in the bed, and the little one said -
"These NHS cuts are getting a bit much."
V Good
Quote: sootyj @ 30th January 2014, 5:23 PM GMTThe NHS is alot like a Beleiber, it keeps getting cut but nobody cares.
Soooooo dark, but funny...
I'm just watching Sleepless in Seattle.
Amanda Knox on the news.
What does Goldfinger and Italy have in common
they both Fort Nox and ended up looking like dicks
The last few days I've been waking up with a frog on my throat. Never date a prince. (This one actually got a laugh at my first open mic.)
I hate math teachers because they expect you to solve all their problems.
I saw some gay porn, Five massive dicks spouting in unison. Sorry that's One Direction.
Quote: NateSean @ 31st January 2014, 1:22 AM GMTThe last few days I've been waking up with a frog on my throat. Never date a prince. (This one actually got a laugh at my first open mic.)
I hate math teachers because they expect you to solve all their problems.
those are both excellent