How many holes are there on a golf course? 18, and an unlimited number of arseholes.

Berlusconi says that Ruby the Heart-Stealer was f**king expensive. And expensive f**king.

Two fleas had a race to get to the centre of my shirt. Ended in a tie.

Why don't crooks wear shirts? Because they always get collared.

I saw The Jam before they made it.
Where did I see them?
Strawberry Fields

Shakespeare didn't know what to call his son. 'Toby or not Toby?'

This isn't a joke but I just read it and found it amusing: 'Love Benny Hill! He managed to be funny without being smutty.'
Yes, and Andrew Dice Clay manages to be entertaining without being vulgar.

Of all the dreams I wanted to come true, I wish it didn't have to be the one where I was white water rafting down a mountain into a bursting dam. (Could be bedwetting or wet dream related depending on where your mind takes it)

We have a new Indian window cleaner. Weird, he cleans them with a shami.

My dad walked with a limp, and it got progressively worse. I was always pulling his leg.

Jared, the Subway guy, was caught with child pornography. I knew he liked to eat fresh but I didn't think he'd go for the clam sauce.

That's just offensive.

Film where U2's guitarist sends communication. Postcards From The Edge.

Reading this thread, you'd think all jokes involved puns or wordplay.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 25th July 2015, 8:32 AM BST

That's just offensive.

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Something's always going to offend someone.