British Comedy Guide

I went to a restaurant Page 15

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stonked

  • Friday 31st January 2014, 1:38pm
  • Wisbech, England
  • 226 posts

I went to a restaurant and I said "Do you do wedding receptions?"
And they they said "Yes, we do. Are you getting married?"
And I said "No. I was just trying to figure out how this confetti could have got into my rice pudding."

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sootyj

  • Friday 31st January 2014, 2:09pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I went to an Italian restaurant and said I'll have the student special.
After 4 years in jail, I should have ordered pizza.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 31st January 2014, 2:29pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,657 posts

Joe Cocker's apple pie was locked up. He said, 'Unchain my tart.'

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Blobster

  • Friday 31st January 2014, 2:45pm
  • Providence, Rhode Island, United States
  • 321 posts

I went to a restaurant run by a group of Big Game Hunters. I said I'd have what the staff was having, so they served me Lion, and I swallowed my pride.

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playfull

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 12:41am
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,702 posts

I went to the new Vatican seafood restaurant and asked for whatever the Priests all have. I got a choirboys starfish and Papal immunity, which was nice...

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Kenneth

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 2:42pm
  • Australia
  • 5,324 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 31st January 2014, 2:29 PM GMT

Joe Cocker's apple pie was locked up. He said, 'Unchain my tart.'


Jarvis Cocker's apple pie was expired. He said, 'Tesco 2000.'

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sootyj

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 3:37pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I went to the 911 conspiracy restaurant but everything was too hard to swallow.

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Steve Sunshine

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 9:07pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,540 posts

I went to a restaurant called Quarters
I said I'll half what their halving

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Blobster

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 9:52pm
  • Providence, Rhode Island, United States
  • 321 posts

I went to a restaurant called "Schrodinger's" I ordered the cat, but they said I could either see it or eat it but not both.

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sootyj

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 9:56pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I went to Pavlovs restaurants as soon as I heard they were serving bell peppers, I started salivating imediately.

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Blobster

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 9:58pm
  • Providence, Rhode Island, United States
  • 321 posts

I went to Einsteins restaurant - the staff were all relatives.

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Steve Sunshine

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 10:08pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,540 posts

I went to the quantum double slit restaurant
You get served by two waiters at the same time
Unless you're watching him.

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sootyj

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 10:10pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

very clever

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Blobster

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 10:10pm
  • Providence, Rhode Island, United States
  • 321 posts
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 6th February 2014, 10:08 PM GMT

I went to the quantum double slit restaurant
You get served by two waiters at the same time
Unless you're watching him.


Surely works better with two waitresses ? :)

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Steve Sunshine

  • Thursday 6th February 2014, 10:13pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,540 posts

If it works at all I'm happy
but you may be right