The old "something similar in development" bit. That's happened to me twice. You'll get over it, and come up with something even better.

Well done Steve. A lot of us don't even get the something similar in development bit...

Quote: Steve Whyley @ 27th May 2014, 12:25 PM BST

Hi Will,

Writer here - I just saw your message re if it went any further.

Well it ended up getting fairly far - I ended up working with Catherine Bailey, of Catherine Bailey productions, who helped me redevelop the script (I could share it if interested?) and she then took it to the BBC who liked it but had something similar in development. So I am now back to where I started! However, I have learnt an awful lot and the script is a lot stronger.

I need to motivate myself to try and write some new things, especially now that I have a good contact, but I must admit I was pretty gutted that Rules of Life fell at the final hurdle.

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Well done Steve for getting so far and I don't know if it helps or not but there would have still been a few hurdles to go. Best of luck with the next project.

Thanks guys, much appreciated.

Yeh I kinda guessed it was still miles away but was a very exciting ride! I was very new to it all - as this was the first thing I had written, so I was loving every minute! Just trying to motivate myself to write the next thing!

Really appreciate the forums comments though when I showed you the sitcom around a year ago, it really helped me.

Steve. You are a born natural. Being rejected will make you a better person. Those that achieve instant success eventually vanish up their own arse hole. Look at me, I've posted over 400 times and never once had positive critique but look at me now, my arse hole has healed up but I spend many happy hours swapping insults with other losers.
Seriously Steve you look like the real deal. Good Luck.

To be fair Jerf you have had positive critique. The healing process I cannot comment on.

Hi guys,

A lot of you gave me some really kind feedback on the production (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu6EfnsgVUk) of my sitcom Rules of Life a year or so ago.

As I recently said I worked with a production company to redevelop the script.

I would love to know if you think I have made it better or if the script is now in worse shape than what it was before!

If the script is better I am considering refilming it with the latest script and maybe developing it into a web series.

Here's a link to the script - http://www.scribd.com/doc/235643241/Rules-of-Life

No worries if you haven't got time to read it!

Steve he is basically telling us what he is thinking which we can see through his expressions and actions when he is ..err acting. The golden rule is show don't tell, and if you are adding an interior monologue that should add another dimension. Observational witty something at variance with what we are seeing with his acting, (like what we do with peep show frinstance.) If that makes sense? To you I mean.

Can you give me a couple of examples Marc from the script please? I understand what you mean but just skimming the first five pages I'm not sure how he can say what he's thinking in actions?

Sorry on iPad. It's called subtext. It's what actors interpret from the screenplay. The question is why does he have an inner monologue that the audience can hear. How does it turn the story?

It's the whole point of the sitcom though! Without it it's nothing. I'm fairly confident that people who read the script will see that his inner monologue (just as before) is what he's desperate to say but what he's not allowed to say because of societies rules. He's essentially desperate to be a Larry David type of figure but he's not - all of these 'honest' thoughts are trapped in his head and he just wants to break free.

For example he will ask a work colleague how his weekend was. In his head he's saying "why do I have to ask him this? I don't care about this guys weekend." Etc etc

But the whole idea/writing may be something you might not enjoy. I just want to know if this version is better than the filmed version.

It's not a good enough point, sorry. It's a stylistic device is all. I don't mean to be mean but do the production company you worked on it with do corporate style productions?

If you can pull out examples re the point you're tying to make I may understand it better - as I'm struggling at the moment (I may be being thick)! They've had various productions on TV (Quickcuts, Life of Reilly and others - nothing corporate) and I worked with various script writers who have had a history of shows on radio and TV. They then received positive notes from a commissioner at BBC3. This is still the same show (albeit tweaked) that a lot of the forums posters enjoyed. I just merely want to know if it's better or worse than the thing I posted a year to 18 months ago.

Maybe it's a question (if it's better or worse) for some of the guys who watched it first time round. Thanks for reading it Marc but maybe I should have been clearer. I'm not after a critique of the script - I've had that from lots of parties and at this stage I'm not doing any more writing on it. I'm just interested to see if it's better than the production of 18 months ago.

Sorry Steve like I said I'm on an iPad so can't pull out and paste. I wasn't talking about CB productions but the company you made it with. Go with the positive feedback from here and carry on with the project. Or let it go and try something else. As long as you are enjoying the process I wouldn't worry about negative takes. I guess the market speaks in the end.

So I guess that what I'm trying to ascertain from the guys here - should I continue with this project, and film this new script and future episodes I've written or shall I just accept it has gone as far as it will go (not expecting an answer from you).

They've done a mix of things - they're friends of mine who have done lots of shorts (more drama based) and music videos. This was their first sitcom. But we'd be making any new stuff together - and our plan was for a web series. But I'm just keen to know if people preferred it the way it was, in which case there's obviously no need for us to refilm.