The Sitcom Mission 2013 Page 2

Radio has certainly been a breeding ground for success: Mighty Boosh, Flight of the Conchords, Alan Partridge, League of Gentlemen.

Quote: Declan @ January 29 2013, 8:01 PM GMT

And Clare in the Community for me.

Me too laugh out loud comedy

Quote: Declan @ January 29 2013, 8:01 PM GMT

And Clare in the Community for me.

Clare has been in development for TV a number of times, but has never made it oddly. One of the writers was my older brothers best friend at school and I wrote with him on the sixth form revue as I recall although not in the sixth, well one of a team anyway. The fact that it is not on TV mystifies me.

EXT.EXOTIC BEACH - DAY

The HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE is laying face down on a sun lounger
and is being massaged by MELANIE, an attractive beach girl.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
This is the life.

FX: Sound of a Harrier jump jet landing

SIMON and DECLAN enter brandishing a pile of scripts.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
No, no, Nooooo!

DECLAN
Oh yes, yes, yes Mr Hat Trick
Executive.

SIMON
Boy are you in for a treat.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
It's over, you morons! We're
through. I've already spent the
prize money on this wonderful,
secret, holiday.

SIMON
And that was a mistake because
we've done it, we've finally
separated the wheat from the chaff.

DECLAN
Check these out, go on!

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
Let me guess. "Honey, I shrunk the
economy", "Whatever you say, Deputy
Prime Minister", "Saville's Row"?

DECLAN hastily removes 3 scripts from the pile

DECLAN
Erm, no

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
Just go away, I have no time for
your shenanigans.

SIMON
You'll regret this! The Sitcom
Mission is going places, high
places.





HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
I'm sure I will, now if you don't
mind this is the part where Melanie
likes to get intimate.

A dejected SIMON and DECLAN leave

FX: sound of a Harrier jump jet taking off.

A loose script flies along the beach and lands in front of
the HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
Ha! I knew it.

(TO MELANIE)
H'mm, that's very intimate

MELANIE
(undead voice)
Braaaaiiins!

MELANIE starts eating the HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE alive.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE
Bollocks!

As the HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE dies screaming the cover for the
script of Zombie beach babes flutters in the breeze

END

We've missed you, Sean.

SIMON: Shall we do The Sitcom Mission again?

DECLAN: Nah.

SIMON: But Sean will write something really amusing and then enter something else.

DECLAN: Ah, go on then.

Quote: Marc P @ January 29 2013, 8:51 PM GMT

Clare has been in development for TV a number of times, but has never made it oddly. One of the writers was my older brothers best friend at school and I wrote with him on the sixth form revue as I recall although not in the sixth, well one of a team anyway. The fact that it is not on TV mystifies me.

CITC has a brilliant masturbation joke: Clare is reading Brian's diary and comes across entries like 'had a W..' She turns the page and reads '...eetabix' There are several variations on this until she finally reads 'had a W' turns the page and there's nothing.

A truly brilliant sitcom, and a great example of 'square/peg round hole.' What better job for a supremely selfish woman than...social worker.

I'm reading 'Your Sitcom Mission ... Should You Choose to Accept It', and it's a good read, but it repeats the notion of 15 pages in SM submissions. I know that my script needs to be 15 minutes, and is currently, to my timed estimate, half a minute over. But when I trim that down to 15 minutes the script will still be more than 15 pages. And this is without there being much description as well. So my question is does the precise number of pages matter as long as the comedy is 15 minutes? I'm using Celtx, if that helps.

Cheers

Alan

Quote: Alan O'Brien @ January 30 2013, 9:10 PM GMT

I'm reading 'Your Sitcom Mission ... Should You Choose to Accept It', and it's a good read, but it repeats the notion of 15 pages in SM submissions. I know that my script needs to be 15 minutes, and is currently, to my timed estimate, half a minute over. But when I trim that down to 15 minutes the script will still be more than 15 pages. And this is without there being much description as well. So my question is does the precise number of pages matter as long as the comedy is 15 minutes? I'm using Celtx, if that helps.

Cheers

Alan

Good question. Thanks for raising it. Don't get hung up on page numbers. It's time that matters. Read it aloud (preferably with other people) and time it.

Quote: Declan @ January 29 2013, 10:08 PM GMT

We've missed you, Sean.

SIMON: Shall we do The Sitcom Mission again?

DECLAN: Nah.

SIMON: But Sean will write something really amusing and then enter something else.

DECLAN: Ah, go on then.

I like to do my part :P

That was a good performance by you on Derek, Simon, and if you're susceptible to this kind of thing it was a very very good performance. Indeed. Oh is there a new competition started? Whistling nnocently

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ January 31 2013, 12:39 AM GMT

That was a good performance by you on Derek, Simon, and if you're susceptible to this kind of thing it was a very very good performance. Indeed. Oh is there a new competition started? Whistling nnocently

First one to say I deserve a BAFTA wins.

Wins what?

I have to admit that I was surprised at the entrance cost and the 12.5% caper as I have no idea if this is the industry norm?

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ January 31 2013, 1:27 PM GMT

I have to admit that I was surprised at the entrance cost and the 12.5% caper as I have no idea if this is the industry norm?

Entrance is cheap.
Feedback even cheaper - the notes I received last year were of a good quality.
12% as a producers/finders fee is pretty reasonable, too.

As comps go, it would be hard to put this in the 'rip-off' category.

Hello Lazzard, I wasn't for one minute suggesting it was a rip off, I just don't know enough about the industry.
To date I have steered clear of people asking for dough up front regardless of the amount.