Time for some Christmas cracker crap jokes.

Just thought of one, so posting it here before it goes.

Why has Santa got three girlfriends

So he can do his Ho Ho Ho

What exams do you need to become a Santa?

Ho Ho Ho levels.

Why doesn't Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney*.

*Chimney can also be a funny euphemism for the bum bum.

Why did Santa have to have a CRB check? Because he was reported to be emptying his sack in front of children.

LE mind you when he comes once a year he fills her stocking?

Why did Santa join BUPA? For the elf insurance

How come the KGB knows all about the Northpole? Because every year they have Reindeer Aimes.

Why did Mrs Kringle go to the North Pole on her husbands orders? Because he Santa.

Quote: L.E. @ December 20 2012, 12:27 PM GMT

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he's got snow balls?

Dont go looking for a missing santa.

You'll be chasing a lost claus.

Where does Santa go cottaging?
In the Christmas crapper

Where does Santa go cottaging?
In the Christmas crapper

What's a Christmas Crapper?

One worse than the one last year?

Two snowmen

One says to the other 'can you smell carrots?'

I'm making a Movie about Christmas decorations
It's getting a lot of interest in Tinseltown.

Not Hollywood?

Quote: Lee @ December 20 2012, 11:11 PM GMT

Not Hollywood?

Ahhh

No.