What are you reading? Page 5

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john tregorran

  • Wednesday 3rd July 2019, 11:15pm
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 418 posts

The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler.
I like his stories a lot and have read them many times.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 14th July 2019, 11:55am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,231 posts

My good friend Bonnie Tyler is casting for 'Much Ado About Nothing', so I say, 'How's it going?' She says, 'Not so good.' I say, 'What about the male roles?' She says, 'They're covered.' - ' What about the minor roles?' - ' Covererd too.' - 'And the kids?' - 'Sorted.' - 'So what's the problem?' - 'I need a Hero.'

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Billy Bunter

  • Sunday 14th July 2019, 8:48pm
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 973 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 14th July 2019, 11:55 AM

My good friend Bonnie Tyler is casting for 'Much Ado About Nothing', so I say, 'How's it going?' She says, 'Not so good.' I say, 'What about the male roles?' She says, 'They're covered.' - ' What about the minor roles?' - ' Covererd too.' - 'And the kids?' - 'Sorted.' - 'So what's the problem?' - 'I need a Hero.'

And I suppose that, when asked, "if you were only allowed one item for breakfast every morning what would it be?", she replied, "it's a hard egg, nothing but a hard egg".

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 12:04am
  • England
  • 16,470 posts
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 14th July 2019, 8:48 PM

And I suppose that, when asked, "if you were only allowed one item for breakfast every morning what would it be?", she replied, "it's a hard egg, nothing but a hard egg".

Annoyed

Dunno if that's worse than MM's "joke"

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 8:22am
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,468 posts

The gorgeous woman who put new ceramic squares on my bathroom wall was Bonny Tiler

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 9:04am
  • England
  • 16,470 posts
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 15th July 2019, 8:22 AM

The gorgeous woman who put new ceramic squares on my bathroom wall was Bonny Tiler

Annoyed

Dunno if that's worse than MM or Billy's "joke"

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 9:27am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,231 posts
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 14th July 2019, 8:48 PM

And I suppose that, when asked, "if you were only allowed one item for breakfast every morning what would it be?", she replied, "it's a hard egg, nothing but a hard egg".

Thank you for brightening up my Monday morning.
My personal favourite (and I probably posted this before so coninue at your own risk):
Last night I made a pizza margherita for my good friend Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. I prepared the dough, tomatoes and mozarella and then discovered - OH NO! No basil. So I looked in the cupboard and found some thyme instead. I thought, It's a minor ingredient and he won't notice the difference - so I sprinkled it on the pizza... Mark and I have a nice meal and then I say, So what do you think of my pizza? He says, It was OK, I guess. I say, What's the problem? He says, Nothing; it was mediocre. I say, No Mark - if you have a problem with my pizza margherita, tell me! He says, No, it was just... It was just... It was just that the THYME WAS WRONG.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 10:31am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,231 posts

Just for you:
David Bowie and I were watching Much Ado About Nothing when a female character ran offstage and dropped her purse. I said, 'Whose is that?' Dave shrugged: 'Could be Hero's.'

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 11:10am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,231 posts

And finally...
I told Geri Halliwell she had a clandestine relationship with my pet kangaroo. She wasn't convinced. She said, Is yer wallaby my lover?
Back on topic: I am reading the last collection of Richard Matheson's short stories. Engrossing, well-written and so readable.

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 11:17am
  • England
  • 16,470 posts

"Pigs Can Fly" by Barry Cryer.................Now there IS a funny man.

And the people he has worked with or known is phenomenal from Max Miller to the present day.

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Briosaid

  • Friday 19th July 2019, 9:55pm
  • Scotland
  • 1,066 posts

'Why Mummy Doesn't Give a F**k' - Gill Sims.