My nephew (have to say he's a rather unsophistacated 8 year old) loves the "what do you call a man?" jokes.
We've done:
With a spade on his head (Doug)
Without a spade on his head (Douglas)
In a brown paper suit (Russell)
With a seagull on his head (Cliff)
With no arms and legs in a swimming pool (Bob)
Anyone know any more?
What do you call a man with a plank on his head ?
Edward !
What do you call a man with 2 planks on his head ?
Edward Wood !
What do you call a man with 3 planks on his head ?
Edward Woodward !
What do you call a man with 4 planks on his head ?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would !
What do you call a man with a car on his head ?
Jack !
What do you call a man with a lavatory on his head ?
Lou !
What do you call a woman with two lavatories on her head ?
Lulu !
What do you call a woman with a bunch of holly on her head ?
Carol !
What do you call a woman with a cat on her head ?
Kitty !
What do you call a man with a crane on his head ?
Derek !
What do you call a man with a map on his head ?
Miles !
What do you call a man with a car number plate on his head ?
Reg !
What do you call his brother?
R Reg !
What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head ?
Anita !
What do you call a woman with slates on her head ?
Ruth !
What do you call a man with some cat scratches on his head ?
Claude !
What do you call a man with a stamp on his head ?
Frank !
What do you call a man with a boat on his head ?
Bob !
What do you call a woman with a breeze on her head ?
Gail !
What do you call a girl with a tennis racket on her head ?
Annette !
What do you call a woman with a tortiose on her head ?
Shelley !
What do you call a woman with a twig on her head ?
Hazel !
What do you call a man with a kilt on his head ?
Scott !
What do you call a man with a legal document on his head ?
Will !
What do you call a man who with a coat on his head?
Mac.
What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?
Warren.
What do you call a man who with two coats on his head?
Max.
What do you call a man who can't stand?
Neil.
What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers
What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Cardiff?
A leisure center.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasoreass.
What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?
Sister-Matic.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that lies on the floor?
Matt.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
Stu.
What do you call a water skier with no arms and no legs?
Skip.
What do you call a quadraplegic in a catapult?
Chuck.
What do you call 2 men in the window?
Curt and Rod.
What do you call a lady with just one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a chinese lady with just one leg?
Irene.
What do you call a woman with a screwdriver in one hand, a knife
in the other, a pair of scissors between the toes on her left
foot, and a corkscrew between the toes on her right foot?
A Swiss Army wife.
What do you call an abortion in Prague?
A cancelled Czech.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Quote: Griff @ May 2 2011, 11:30 AM BSTWhat do you call a man who never wants to hear one of these jokes again? Griff.
I think I'm with you on that one Griff...however...my nephew loved the one about Nick Clegg...
I have corrupted the young and contributed to annoying Griff
my work here is complete
*disapears in a cloud of eggy sulphur*
What do you call a girl with a sunlamp on her head?
Tanya
Quote: Will Cam @ May 2 2011, 4:49 PM BSTWhat do you call a girl with a sunlamp on her head?
Tanya
What do you call a girl with a sunlamp on her head and a whip?
Tanya Hide
Quote: Rigid Bones @ May 2 2011, 11:02 AM BSTWith no arms and legs in a swimming pool
I thought the answer to that one was "clever dick"?
These jokes are boring. Start him on the dead baby ones.
What do you call a girl with a laptop on her head?
Adell.
What do you call a man who's not religious?
Godfrey
What do you call a man with an elephant on his head?
An ambulance
What do you call a man with no second part to this sentence?
Eamonn.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 3 2011, 12:14 PM BSTWhat do you call a man who's not religious?
Godfrey