British Comedy Guide

Writing greeting cards Page 2

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Kenneth

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 1:03am
  • Australia
  • 5,426 posts

One of the best stingy cards I ever received was a small square of obviously recycled white card, with a simple ink stamp of Santa on the front. Inside was the message:

Money's short,
Times are hard,
Here's your f**king
Christmas card.

I have subsequently made many of these cards myself from old boxes of tampons and breakfast cereal and also from the card that comes in certain packaging for underpants.

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T.W.

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 1:05am [Edited]
  • England
  • 15,786 posts

All hail Australia's new Poet Laureate!

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Kenneth

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 1:10am
  • Australia
  • 5,426 posts
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 5 2010, 12:29 AM BST

by and large the vast majority or "normal" members of the public still want to go into a shop and buy an appropriate card for a birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, or whatever. And most people expect that too. For instance I made a load of home-made Christmas cards last year out of pipe cleaners and glue and glitter and my Dad said "Bloody Hell, can't you afford real ones?" :D


That's a real shame. Nothing shows love and care more than cutting up an empty box of tampons to make a birthday card for a loved one. Last week I received two cards from my cousin's daughters (aged 4 and 7) thanking me for looking after them for a few days recently - and their cards were ones they had made themselves, with drawings and mini-collage-glued things - vastly preferable to some store bought cards. I'll only buy a card if it's inappropriate. Though in my younger years I used to buy Far Side cards a lot when they were all the rage.

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Lee Henman

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 3:57am [Edited]
  • England
  • 5,183 posts

Kenneth, what's with this mountain of tampon boxes you have? Where do you live, Menstruation Avenue? :P

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Nogget

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 6:34am
  • England
  • 6,620 posts
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 5 2010, 12:29 AM BST

the vast majority or "normal" members of the public still want to go into a shop and buy an appropriate card for a birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, or whatever. And most people expect that too. For instance I made a load of home-made Christmas cards last year out of pipe cleaners and glue and glitter and my Dad said "Bloody Hell, can't you afford real ones?" :D


I've also gone the 'inappropriate card' route by altering shop-bought cards; for example, for an 18th birthday, buy one that says "you are 8" and very obviously prefix it with the numeral 1. But I've had people not understand this, and wonder why I didn't conform to buying a 'proper' card. There's so much ritual and convention involved in card-giving for some people.

Often people suggest I should market my artwork as greetings cards, and indeed I have had them printed and sold them at my exhibitions, but in a way it devalues the original work so I stopped doing that. I would love to get on board with a big publisher, but I've no idea how to go about it.

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Kenneth

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 7:24am
  • Australia
  • 5,426 posts
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 5 2010, 3:57 AM BST

Kenneth, what's with this mountain of tampon boxes you have? Where do you live, Menstruation Avenue? :P


I ask a few female friends to save the empty boxes for me, fond as I am of recycling. They can also be used to make dandy postcards - hopefully giving someone at the Post Office some amusement or weary bewilderment at the sender's apparent impecuniousness.

Quote: Nogget @ October 5 2010, 6:34 AM BST

I've also gone the 'inappropriate card' route by altering shop-bought cards; for example, for an 18th birthday, buy one that says "you are 8" and very obviously prefix it with the numeral 1.


Likewise.

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Lee Henman

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 9:04am [Edited]
  • England
  • 5,183 posts
Quote: Nogget @ October 5 2010, 6:34 AM BST

I've also gone the 'inappropriate card' route by altering shop-bought cards; for example, for an 18th birthday, buy one that says "you are 8" and very obviously prefix it with the numeral 1. But I've had people not understand this, and wonder why I didn't conform to buying a 'proper' card. There's so much ritual and convention involved in card-giving for some people.


Possibly why card companies have so much money. In this country if you had your last quid in your pocket, you'd buy a Mother's Day card with it. Or most people would.

Quote: Nogget @ October 5 2010, 6:34 AM BST


Often people suggest I should market my artwork as greetings cards, and indeed I have had them printed and sold them at my exhibitions, but in a way it devalues the original work so I stopped doing that. I would love to get on board with a big publisher, but I've no idea how to go about it.


Go to Clintons, get a company's name off the back of a card, and email / phone them up. They're not nearly as difficult to contact as TV producers. :)

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Mikey Jackson

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 4:18pm
  • Worthing, West Sussex, England
  • 2,807 posts

It always amazes me how many old jokes make the range.
How does that happen?

Won't say which jokes, but many predate the chicken crossing the road.

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David Bussell

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 4:22pm
  • London, England
  • 9,943 posts
Quote: Mikey Jackson @ October 5 2010, 4:18 PM BST

It always amazes me how many old jokes make the range.
How does that happen?

Won't say which jokes, but many predate the chicken crossing the road.


Pretty simple really; the people buying the jokes either don't know or care that the joke isn't original.

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zooo

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 5:05pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 69,195 posts

My mum almost insists on a homemade card.
Not sure how much she'd appreciate one made out of a tampax box though...

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Natalie Of Wicks

  • Tuesday 5th October 2010, 5:57pm
  • England
  • 9,484 posts

I love making my own cards. And people like receiving them :D

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Jen Rutter

  • Tuesday 29th September 2015, 1:15pm
  • Tewkesbury, England
  • 4 posts

Hi!
I am the creative director for a greeting card company called Emotional Rescue. We're looking for new writers, if you contact us through out website www.thedogsdoodahs.com - we'll send you our creative brief!
Thanks!

Jen :D

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sootyj

  • Tuesday 29th September 2015, 2:26pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

Hi Jen

I've applied

thanks Joel

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beaky

  • Tuesday 29th September 2015, 4:02pm
  • Malaga and Brighton, United Kingdom
  • 2,735 posts

Happy Noel,
Love from Joel.

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playfull

  • Tuesday 29th September 2015, 4:29pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,858 posts

With apologies to Lee & Jen...

On my fortieth birthday my brother sent me a 'Happy 8th Birthday' card, with a picture of a racing car on the front, that he had bought from a charity shop. I then sent it to him on his next birthday. This card has now been passed back and forth between us for many years. This appeals to my sense of humour and his sense of tightness!