Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 243

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Will Cam

  • Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:42pm
  • England
  • 7,949 posts

Firkin goes round all the charity shops and buys up all the trouser pockets.

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chipolata

  • Tuesday 24th March 2020, 2:16pm
  • England
  • 29,994 posts

Will Cam has been married to a bottle of Sunny Delight for fourteen years and a day.

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playfull

  • Tuesday 24th March 2020, 2:21pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,653 posts

olata means 'shop' in Cornish.

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Will Cam

  • Tuesday 24th March 2020, 3:04pm
  • England
  • 7,949 posts

Playful started his own children's tv show called 'Playful-away'.

The producers of classic tv show 'Play Away' were not impressed and issued a cease and desist notice. When this was ignored, they got Derek Akorah to bring Brian Cant back from the dead (after bringing himself back first) and after picking Derek Griffith up from the gutter outside Greggs in Leeds they put Playful's windows in. Just for the record- Floella Benjamin kept nix.

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playfull

  • Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:34pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,653 posts

TAKEN FROM WILL CAM'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE (So it must be true)

IN THE BEGINNING

Will Cam started life as a cartoon strip character in the early 1930s in the Spanish Newspaper the Madrid De Nada. The character, famous for his cheeky catch phrases, was the creation of El Beakyo, who later went on to create the entirely original and definitely not plagiarised Andyo Cappo and Peanutsio cartoons.

MOVING ON

By the mid thirties El Beakyo was spending less time on Will's strip and more time mentoring his friend Picasso as an artist. Picasso was desperately searching for a style of painting that would make his name and it was at this time he accidentally invented cubism. His wife wanted a portrait of her mother and so Picasso set to the task. The unfortunate lady in question had years earlier fallen head first into a butter patting machine and taken several hours to climb out. The rest is history. To the art world this was the first cubist surrealist painting, to El Beakyo it was actually just quite a good likeness.

GWYNETH PALTROW

Will took advantage of his creators inattention and slipped away to England on a tramp steamer, disguised as a tattoo on a steaming tramp. In search of fame and fortune he bluffed his way onto the British Music hall circuit where his cheeky chappy persona became an instant hit with the great unwashed British public. This would have been astounding for any performer but was unheard of for a two dimensional drawing.

A HARD ACT TO FOLLOW

Wills act consisted of walking on stage holding a Ukulele, when he reached the middle of the stage he would turn sideways and being 2D effectively disappeared. Leaving the Ukulele apparently playing itself in mid air. Upon which children screamed, women fainted and the men headed to the bar. In keeping with the times Will always finished his act with a couple of randomly delivered catchphrases. His most beloved catchphrase of course being one from his original strip cartoon, 'Put that in yer pipe missus'. This soon became adopted by the whole nation, and was even used by King George the Vl who ended his 1937 Xmas address to the nation with, P P P P Put th th tha that in ye ye yer p p pipe mer missus.

GO WEST THIN MAN

After conquering the Music halls Will was now drawn (literally) to try his luck in Hollywood where he soon earned a contract with the Alt right Disney studios. Disney's Walt Disney liked Will so much he specifically developed the character of Prince Charming in the upcoming blockbuster 'Snow White' as a ukulele playing cheeky chappy, a vehicle intended to propel Will to a 2-dimensional super stardom. But before the first pencil was sharpened an interview given by Wills spurned and bitter creator El Beakyo in the De Nada revealed that the catch phrase 'Put that in yer pipe Missus' actually refereed to the act of sexual congress and had nothing to do with smoking at all. All Wills dreams now lay in tatters before him. Snow White demanded he be replaced and that the Character of Prince Charming be re drawn (literally) as dull and as 2 dimensional as possible. Sadly Walt Disney never got over the loss of the cheeky chappy Prince and lamented all the way to his cryo chamber that the film was never the same without the Ukulele.

IS IT NOT OVER YET

After the scandal Will could not find proper work and became a shadow of himself (yes, literally) in a shadow puppet show on one of Brighton's more flammable Piers. Sadly Will and El Beakyo were never reconciled but in a strange twist, history repeated itself when El Beakyo's latest star cartoon creation the 'Rebel' citing artistic differences, left his creator to try and make it in television.

IT MUST BE OVER NOW!

Meanwhile rumours abound that after the success of the photo realistically rendered Lion King that Disney intend to re work Snow White to realise Walt's original concept...complete with ukulele........... As Prince Charming might say (and apparently did on more than one occasion)...'put that in yer pipe Snow White'.

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Firkin

  • Friday 27th March 2020, 1:51pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 778 posts

Playfull poured oil around Asda's vegetable section and then announced he was panic buying bananas, just to see lots of fruit lovers fall tit over arse.