Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 241

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Monday 2nd September 2019, 10:22am
  • England
  • 16,533 posts
Quote: chipolata @ 2nd September 2019, 9:37 AM

Herc has been trapped in a tineloop for the last 47 years, endlessly reliving the same day again and again. He's getting sick of it.

As has become more noticeable of late (I think he's finished the course of purple pills), Chips deliberately puts typos in his posts.

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chipolata

  • Monday 2nd September 2019, 11:42am
  • England
  • 29,994 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 2nd September 2019, 10:22 AM

As has become more noticeable of late (I think he's finished the course of purple pills), Chips deliberately puts typos in his posts.

:D

You've never heard of a tineloop? Shame on you.

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Firkin

  • Monday 2nd September 2019, 2:46pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 778 posts

Herc has been credited with coining the phrase "Tineloop" (spelt Tyneloop) the phenomena of Newcastle United going up and down from the Premiership in a perpetual loop.

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Monday 2nd September 2019, 3:19pm
  • England
  • 16,533 posts

Firkin is trying to get "firkin" adopted in polite society instead of "f**kin" and then hope to cash in on the copyright

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playfull

  • Tuesday 3rd September 2019, 2:05am [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,653 posts

Herc recently discovered he had an Anderson WW2 air raid shelter in his back garden and It was whilst clearing this out that inspiration for his latest money making venture struck. Why not let it out? He thought. Then, moments later, bingo! Why not let them all out? A quick google search brought up the fact that there are approx. 50,000 Anderson shelters still in existence in the uk alone. So Hurc quickly set up 'Air raid B & B' - to offer short stays in a half buried, comfort free, blitz themed, 'period property'.

In order to road test the 'Air Raid B & B' concept Herc chose Edinburgh during the festival - somewhere notorious for its seasonal lack of accommodation as well as its total lack of ariel bombing. A small advert in the local paper 'The Drunken Bastard' identified several dozen suitable shelters which Herc quickly secured for the duration, all at the going rate of 2 bottles of buckfast per week. Which isn't bad when you consider he then rented them out for £400 to a £1000 a night, depending on the shelters location and whether it was going to be used as a performance venue as well.

Herc is quick to point out it was not all profit. Stating that he is currently defending a 'class action' suit for multiple mold aggravated chest infections as well as numerous claims of asbestosis. He also points out he spent a small fortune on supplying guests with 'a full Scottish breakfast' (two cans of special brew and half a packet of Tunnocks wafers). He has also received several lawyers letters on behalf of some company called 'Air B&B' threatening legal action over his alleged use of their name. "Rubbish" says Herc, "what sort of a name is 'Air B&B' anyway"?

Undeterred he is busy signing up shelters all over the uk to 'Air Raid B&B'. "I can't lose". Herc will tell anyone who will listen, "It's not just about providing punters with terrible short break accommodation, it's also that with Trump in power there is bound to be some bombing sooner rather than later. Then let's see who is worried about a bit of asbestos or the odd case of Legionella..."

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playfull

  • Tuesday 8th October 2019, 12:44am
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,653 posts

Playfull is fascinated by language and will happily talk for hours about its complexities or anomalies. "Take for instance 'buggery', what would be the correct term for someone who commits the act of 'buggery'?" he recently asked. "You might think it is 'arsonist' or 'cracksman', but you would be wrong. One sets fires and the other breaks into safes."

"The correct description would in fact be a Sodomite or Sodomist. But here again the nature of language can cause confusion, a Sodomite suggests someone who is not yet committed to the act, whilst sodomist sounds like someone who though fully intent on a bit of buggery is ultimately defeated by a poor aim".

You know, with sermons like that, i am not sure Playfull is actually cut out to be a Priest...

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chipolata

  • Tuesday 8th October 2019, 6:39am [Edited]
  • England
  • 29,994 posts

This isn't the first time Playfull has been caught talking to himself. At school he was so lonely he cloned himself and had 3 very happy years with Playfull 2.0, until 2.0's tragic suicide by pork chop.

(I'm assuming Playfull is a he!)

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playfull

  • Friday 25th October 2019, 12:40pm
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,653 posts

HGT was very pro Europe until it was pointed out to him just how much the end of a Frankfurter looks like a dogs anus.

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Firkin

  • Friday 25th October 2019, 4:27pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 778 posts

Herc invented perspiration.

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beaky

  • Friday 25th October 2019, 4:43pm
  • Malaga and Brighton, United Kingdom
  • 2,691 posts

Firkin is being pursued by the RSPCA for giving acid to his cat.

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Friday 25th October 2019, 4:59pm
  • Everton, England
  • 3,107 posts

Beaky wanted by the Guarda Civil for his alarmingly accurate anatomical drawings in bus/ tram stops throughout the Basque region.