Things that piss you off Page 1787

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 19th August 2020, 4:41pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,321 posts

She will be related to me. I need to silence all these ghastly tabloid rumours and make an official announcement.
I am perfectly happy to marry Melanie C, but she has to propose to me. I can't possibly propose to her as it would contradicked Girl Power. In the meantime, I'm afraid you'll have to wait.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 20th August 2020, 8:34am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,321 posts

Twitter. I just can't get a handle on it.
A student just texted me, Your a f**king c**t. I said, It's YOU'RE a f**king c**t. I won't tolerate bad language. C**t.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Thursday 20th August 2020, 8:22pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,167 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 19th August 2020, 6:06 AM

See no problem with it and after all the films I've watched, I can now read them without thinking about it.

Well you probably grew up with them.

Avatar

john tregorran

  • Tuesday 1st September 2020, 1:51am
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,416 posts

Our dog weed on a Spoonville this morning.Pissed me off,I thought she was just going to have a bit of a sniff.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Tuesday 1st September 2020, 3:39pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,167 posts
Quote: john tregorran @ 1st September 2020, 1:51 AM

Our dog weed on a Spoonville this morning.Pissed me off,I thought she was just going to have a bit of a sniff.

Pissed the dog off too.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Friday 4th September 2020, 2:55pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 17,322 posts

When you start to carry something with both hands that you can't put down (because say, it's delicate/heavy/odd shaped and you're going up stairs) and within in a few seconds of this journey your nose/arse/cock/(other) starts to seriously itch.

It's almost as though "someone/something" is 'avin' a larf by activating this excruciating tickle. Angy

Avatar

Billy Bunter

  • Friday 4th September 2020, 7:21pm
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,335 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th September 2020, 2:55 PM

When you start to carry something with both hands that you can't put down (because say, it's delicate/heavy/odd shaped and you're going up stairs) and within in a few seconds of this journey your nose/arse/cock/(other) starts to seriously itch.

It's almost as though "someone/something" is 'avin' a larf by activating this excruciating tickle. Angy

That's the fault of Isaac Newton. If it wasn't for him, you could let go of them and they would just float around in front of you until you were ready to grab them back again.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Friday 4th September 2020, 7:27pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,167 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th September 2020, 2:55 PM

When you start to carry something with both hands that you can't put down (because say, it's delicate/heavy/odd shaped and you're going up stairs) and within in a few seconds of this journey your nose/arse/cock/(other) starts to seriously itch.

It's almost as though "someone/something" is 'avin' a larf by activating this excruciating tickle. Angy

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 4th September 2020, 7:21 PM

That's the fault of Isaac Newton. If it wasn't for him, you could let go of them and they would just float around in front of you until you were ready to grab them back again.

Terrible invention. It always lets you down.

Avatar

john tregorran

  • Friday 4th September 2020, 11:11pm
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,416 posts

Yes,it certainly brings you back down to earth.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Friday 4th September 2020, 11:17pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 17,322 posts
Quote: Chappers @ 4th September 2020, 7:27 PM

Terrible invention. It always lets you down.

Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Tishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - I thangyow.

Quote: john tregorran @ 4th September 2020, 11:11 PM

Yes,it certainly brings you back down to earth.

Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Tishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - I thangyow.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 19th September 2020, 5:00pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,321 posts

People who rip the shit out of other people's valiant attempts to amuse but have themselves posted a grand total of one joke in 17,147 posts and that was from an episode of Just Good Friends that came out nearly 40 years ago and even then it was shit.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Sunday 20th September 2020, 11:05am
  • England
  • 17,322 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 19th September 2020, 5:00 PM

People who rip the shit out of other people's valiant attempts to amuse but have themselves posted a grand total of one joke in 17,147 posts and that was from an episode of Just Good Friends that came out nearly 40 years ago and even then it was shit.

Totally misguided people who think they are funny, but are simply boring the pants off everyone, hence no response to their drivel.

Oh, and by the way - that took you two weeks to come up with that riposte? Pathetic.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 20th September 2020, 1:27pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,321 posts

This HILARIOUS new Facebook photo of a pretty girl next to a guy totally covered in tatoos and body piercing, with the question, 'Your daughter comes home with this. What do you do?!!!!'... Quick as a flash, I wrote, F**k all, it's her f**king decision you blinkered, prejudiced, superficial f**king Neanderthal, what f**king century are you f**king living in? Probably wouldn't want yer daughter hanging out with gays or blacks either, right? You're the kind of f**ker who sees a guy in a suit accused of paedophilia and goes, 'Nooooo - can't be a pedo - he's wearing a SUIT!!!!!!!' It's 2020 dickrash, not 2020 B.C, you don't know FUCK ALL about this guy, he could be Jesus Christ returning for all you know, you just know you don't like his image, so it's f**k him. Well f**k you you f**king fascist f**king f**ker, he's better off without you. Go f**k yourself, Hitler.

Avatar

lofthouse

  • Sunday 20th September 2020, 2:41pm [Edited]
  • Nowhere, England
  • 9,747 posts

Well said mate, well said

That said, if the bloke in the photo came round with YOUR daughter- you would tell him to f**king well f**k off quick f**king sharpish and never ever f**king well come back