The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 722

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 18th June 2021, 1:19 PM

I have a seat back from the old Wembley Stadium in my lounge. Number 67.

You lucky old thing. No. 66 would've been even better. Much more impressed by the shirt though, surely not a 66 Winners shirt? :O Be worth millions. The names on it are right. :O *?*

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 27th June 2021, 9:35 PM

You lucky old thing. No. 66 would've been even better. Much more impressed by the shirt though, surely not a 66 Winners shirt? :O Be worth millions. The names on it are right. :O *?*

It is not an original shirt of course. It is a replica shirt signed & raffled for charity at each venue of the 40th anniversary tour in 2006. It is obviously not signed by Bobby Moore, who was already deceased by then, nor by Bobby Charlton, who was not part of that tour (which is why I have separate signed memorabilia by those two adjacent to it to complete the set). It is, though, signed by the other nine players who played in the final including Alan Ball, who died just some nine months later.

I do have Kenny Dalglishes autograph in a book and on a lampshade after meeting him in Chelmsford Asda when he was doing a signing when I was 8 or so , I still regret not showing more excitement to my Mum who took me, but come on, despite being a Liverpool fan he can come across as a miserable git even though he isn't

I much preferred meeting Trevor Brooking a couple of years later when I was supposed to be waiting in the car in the carpark of a Romford Supermarket, I spotted him Jumped out told him he was Trevor Brooking which he agreed with and we had a nice quick chat on the way to his car he told me he was off to Scotland to play a few pre season games with West Ham

And the next day when I saw it was all true and West Ham were in Scotland it confirmed his status as the nicest footballer ever in my young eyes

Apart from dozens of Chelsea autographs over the years I met both George Best and Jimmy Greaves at different corporate events.

Nice
( and may suggest Chappers likes a drink, if he's attracting those types )

Sad to hear of Paul Mariner's death at age 68.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 10th July 2021, 12:06 PM

Sad to hear of Paul Mariner's death at age 68.

Oh dear. :( I can clearly remember his first game at Portman Road when he signed from PA. He was a very popular player with a lovely sense of humour, which I witnessed at close quarters when I used to sit with the pro photographers behind the goal.

Member of the 1978 FA Cup Final team of course, when they beat the Gunners.

That late 70s Town team were superb.

Rest In Peace Mr Mariner.

Because of the plans for Everton's new ground Teddy, Liverpool will lose it's Unesco World Heritage staus.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-57879475

Oh dear *sleep*

Looks like Liverpool's new kit has abandoned tradition and they're resembling Roma who they beat in the 1984 European Cup final.

Sutton United 66/1 to win League two, 14/1 for promotion, 4/1 to be relegated.

Coffee Time Football Quiz

Part 1 of 2

1. Sutton Utd have been elected to the football league. They will need to play their first fixtures away from home so that their artificial pitch can be replaced. But who DID invent fake grass?

A. The Moses Brown School
B. Percy Thrower
C. Grazing Cattle
D. Philby, Burgess and Maclean

2. All 20 Premier League teams have agreed to take the knee this season. But less than 1.5% of players have ever heard of the following except for one. Which one is it?

A Malcolm X
B Sammy Davis Junior
C Martin Luther King
D Dizzee Rascal

3. VAR will be tweaked for the coming season so that individual players with certain peculiar body parts will find that their strangeness becomes insignificant. Who of these will no longer be discriminated against?

A. Gingers
B. Those who have had at least three dental fillings
C. The vasectomized
D. The ones who don't often cut their toe nails

4. Which of the following clubs football grounds is highest above sea level?

A. Northampton Town
B. East Stirlingshire
C. Southampton
D. West Bromwich Albion

5. John Terry has announced he is leaving Aston Villa so that he can become a football manager. But which team has he really set his sights on managing?

A. England Ladies
B. Derby County
C. Guangzhou Evergrande Taobao, China.
D. Chelsea.

Coffee Time Football Quiz

Part 2 of 2

6. Which of the following statements isn't true?

A. Michael Jackson attended a match at Fulham.
B. Grace Kelly attended a match at Dundee United.
C. Michael Jackson attended a match at Exeter City
D. Andy Murray attended a match at Wolverhampton Wanderers.

7. Which of the following football mascots tugs at the heartstrings the most while adding a little colour to your day?

A. A man in a dinosaur suit who receives the personal support of Mesut Ozil
B. A woman in a tiger suit who you never see but who is almost certainly Samantha Fox
C. A disabled child who has only two weeks to live and is inside a fluffy bunny rabbit
D. Any one of the ones who are none of the above and you personally have had sex with.

8. Rebecca Welch impressively makes football history by becoming the first woman referee in the football league. But who before her as a woman made the biggest impact on women becoming involved in the men's game?

A. Baroness Karren Brady, CBE
B Playboy model Cicciolina - "For Italia" (1990)
C. Actress Cheri Lunghi, Head Coach in the 1989 Channel 4 series "The Manageress"
D. Dame Vera Lynn

9. Four of the first eleven of a well known football club are unequivocally gay. But which is it?

A. Cefin Druids, Wrexham
B. Stonewall FC, Stratford, London
C The House of Commons First XI, Westminster, London
D Everton

10. What has been the biggest motivational factor for players since the introduction of the England and Wales Premier League?

A Modern keep fit exercises, a vegetarian diet, and booze replaced by the injection of creatine
B. Loyalty to generations of fans that is even greater than it is to their wives and their children
C. The belief that when posing in public in underpants and with their latest tattoos it is meaningful
D. Money - plus a disdain for Scotland - and don't give us none of yer shrapnel

Good luck everyone. *wave**wave**wave*

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 4th August 2021, 3:47 PM

Sutton United 66/1 to win League two, 14/1 for promotion, 4/1 to be relegated.

Thanks for that. I think they'll just stay up - but I said that last season and what happened?

So how well did you do?

Here are the answers.

1. Sutton Utd have been elected to the football league. They will need to play their first fixtures away from home so that their artificial pitch can be replaced. But who DID invent fake grass?

A. The Moses Brown School
B. Percy Thrower
C. Grazing Cattle
D. Philby, Burgess and Maclean

Answer A : The first experimental artificial grass field was installed at Moses Brown School, a Quaker insititution in Philadelphia, in 1964. Percy Thrower MBE was just a British gardener, who became nationally known through presenting gardening programmes, starting in 1956 with the BBC's Gardening Club, then the BBC's Gardeners' World from 1969 until 1976. Grazing cattle improve the quality of grasslands. No cow or bull ever invented Astroturf. Philby, Burgess and Maclean were spies who were exposed by supergrasses.

2. All 20 Premier League teams have agreed to take the knee this season. But less than 1.5% of players have ever heard of the following except for one. Which one is it?

A Malcolm X
B Sammy Davis Junior
C Martin Luther King
D Dizzee Rascal

Answer D : Dizzee Rascal.

3. VAR will be tweaked for the coming season so that individual players with certain peculiar body parts will find that their strangeness becomes insignificant. Who of these will no longer be discriminated against?

A. Gingers
B. Those who have had at least three dental fillings
C. The vasectomized
D. The ones who don't often cut their toe nails

Answer D : Under VAR, toes became extremely important when it came to the offside rule. This discriminated terribly against players who don't often cut their toe nails. While fortunately this has been addressed, those in options A to C remain rightly outside the current anti-discrimination legislation.

4. Which of the following clubs football grounds is highest above sea level?

A. Northampton Town
B. East Stirlingshire
C. Southampton
D. West Bromwich Albion

Answer B: While West Brom's The Hawthornes ground is the one in the football league that is counter intuitively highest above sea level, East Stirlingshire's ground is the highest above sea level in Scotland and beats the Baggies' height with ease. Climate change may well change this so it becomes Bournemouth.

5. John Terry has announced he is leaving Aston Villa so that he can become a football manager. But which team has he really set his sights on managing?

A. England Ladies
B. Derby County
C. Guangzhou Evergrande Taobao, China.
D. Chelsea.

Answer D : Chelsea - if you didn't get this one right, you have delightfully somehow survived your adult years while retaining a bloody weird level of naivety. Well done you - and remember, anyone - even you - is capable of finding a special friend, whatever the sheer extent of his/her huge totally unique peculiarities.

6. Which of the following statements isn't true?

A. Michael Jackson attended a match at Fulham.
B. Grace Kelly attended a match at Dundee United.
C. Michael Jackson attended a match at Exeter City
D. Andy Murray attended a match at Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Answer C : All of the others are absolutely true - if unexpected. Michael Jackson did express a big interest in Exeter City but when he turned up there with Uri Geller who had invited him - and with large numbers of Exeter City supporters in the crowd who declared the event a Thriller - it was not for a football match.

7. Which of the following football mascots tugs at the heartstrings the most while adding a little colour to your day?

A. A man in a dinosaur suit who receives the personal support of Mesut Ozil
B. A woman in a tiger suit who you never see but who is almost certainly Samantha Fox
C. A disabled child who has only two weeks to live and is inside a fluffy bunny rabbit
D. Any one of the ones who are none of the above and you personally have had sex with.

Answer C : Obviously. If you said A or B you are a nut case and if you said D see a therapist immediately.

8. Rebecca Welch impressively makes football history by becoming the first woman referee in the football league. But who before her as a woman made the biggest impact on women becoming involved in the men's game?

A. Baroness Karren Brady, CBE
B Playboy model Cicciolina - "For Italia" (1990)
C. Actress Cheri Lunghi, Head Coach in the 1989 Channel 4 series "The Manageress"
D. Dame Vera Lynn

Answer D : It is fine to have a bit of a brain with an accent on money and close associations with the porn industry. What more obvious way to become fully establishment? Furthermore, there is nothing wrong whatsoever in making the most of enhanced big breasts. Acting is great too. It is the very foundation of today's total fantasy world as we all know and love it. But had Adolf Hitler won WW2, no woman would have ever been allowed to get behind the wheel of a car, let alone go into sports which would have remained strictly nude. Not an ability thing clearly - just an issue with the lack of a penis to wave around.

9. Four of the first eleven of a well known football club are unequivocally gay. But which is it?

A. Cefin Druids, Wrexham
B. Stonewall FC, Stratford, London
C The House of Commons First XI, Westminster, London
D Everton

Answer D: Everton.

10. What has been the biggest motivational factor for players since the introduction of the England and Wales Premier League?

A Modern keep fit exercises, a vegetarian diet, and booze replaced by the injection of creatine
B. Loyalty to generations of fans that is even greater than it is to their wives and their children
C. The belief that when posing in public in underpants and with their latest tattoos it is meaningful
D. Money - plus a disdain for Scotland - and don't give us none of yer shrapnel

Answer C : Players are required to do rather more than just keep fit exercises. They are permitted to take an egg cup of wine to let their hair down every six months, whatever their required jabs, and many are pescatarian. All study and indeed revere the history of football so that they take the knee not only for obvious reasons but to the flat capped factory workers of the 1920s. Money is never a consideration. They have a few bob already and so it is all about the long lasting personal achievement. Scotland was once an issue but Steven Gerrard with his managerial brilliance, that in no way needed a back up team of a thousand experts, has single-handedly saved the Act of Union, signed on 1 May 1707. If you wrote "C but what about the muscles, jock straps and the sheer inspirational attitude?", then take a bonus point. Take two bonus points if you used, I'm sure very cutely, the phrase " actually, it is so obvious to me it is at least ten inches".

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