http://forums.chortle.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=28590

Hopefully someone will take advantage of this.

It's more of a writer/performer opportunity - they're specifically looking for stand-ups.

I've got my audition booked - anyone got any good jokes about getting the internet on the phone? Anyone?

I phoned BT to get connected to the internet.
I asked "Where is the BUS jack?"

The reply was "My name is NOT Jack. You've got the wrong number.
Try London Transport."

"No, I just want to know where the BUS plugs in" - I explained.

"Buses don't plug in, they go to the depot. London Transport can
provide the information. Phone them, sir."

The penny dropped. "No, it's not A bus I want to know about, it's
the BUS connection for getting on the internet that I'm asking you
to help me with"

For a moment the B.T. person went silent then said "I'm only a B.T.
technical support engineer but I can assure you that buses do not
connect to the internet. Internet is ethereal, it's virtual. It's
not physical."

"Yeah, I know that. But I want to get on the internet not on a f**king
bus. It says on the instructions connect the BUS to the appropriate
boadband socket. And that's what I want to know. Which one is the right
socket?"

The penny now landed for the B.T. tech. "Oh..., I must appologise. Now
I understand. O.K., first you have to connect the lead to the phone line
outlet. Have you done that?"

"I can't see one" I say.

"Follow the lead from the phone to the box on the wall" the tech says,
with an exasperated sigh.
"The box on the wall is where the phone lead IS connected and there is NO
f**king socket anywhere. The lead just disappears into the box."
The technician decides to cut the crap. "Look, sir. Why don't you give
me you number and I'll get an internet technician to call you back."
"That won't work." I tell him.
"Why's that?" he asks, with a lage portion of snide.
"I'm not at home so I won't be able to get the call." I explain, with
a major degree of irritation.

This did it. He shouts "Well give me the number you're calling from, then."

"Someone's taken it. I don't know what the number is. There's a queue of
people waiting to use the phone. And I can't stay in this phone box
all f**king day, you arsehole."

I have been asked to chair a meeting about the possibilty of erecting a new phone mast in our village....they probably asked me to host because of my skills as a mast debater.

Well, I can't be the only one who thinks the resultant idents are the worst ones since Kerry Shale's Frasier lead-ins.

That one is from the original London casting. And yeah, it's f**king awful, isn't it? Almost makes me glad I didn't get the part.

As far as I know, they didn't pick anyone from the recent round. Including Richard Blackwood who went in to audition just before me. That was weird...

Quote: James Harris @ July 29 2009, 12:14 PM BST

As far as I know, they didn't pick anyone from the recent round. Including Richard Blackwood who went in to audition just before me.

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Clearly he wasn't nice to them on the way up.

Dan

Quote: Antrax @ July 29 2009, 10:59 AM BST

Well, I can't be the only one who thinks the resultant idents are the worst ones since Kerry Shale's Frasier lead-ins.

View original

Is there a new batch

What programme did it appear before?