British Comedy Guide

James Bond.

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pedros

  • Wednesday 20th May 2009, 2:37pm
  • England
  • 154 posts

As there was a couple of Bond sketches doing the rounds I thought I'd have a go. Tell me what you think.

JAMES BOND AND CIA MAN FELIX ARE IN JAMES' HOTEL ROOM. THE BODY OF A BEUTIFUL GIRL LIES ON THE BED. SEVERAL OTHER CIA MEN ARE MILLING ABOUT.

BOND:
Looks like they thought it was me asleep. Poor girl.

FELIX:
What do you know about her?

BOND:
She's the double agent Ursula Robonov. I met her in the casino. She must have
come upstairs to wait for me.

FELIX SEARCHES THROUGH URSULA'S HANDBAG. HE PULLS OUT HER IDENTIFICATION.

FELIX:
Says here her names Sally and she's a native of Illinois.

FELIX THROWS I.D TO CIA MAN.

FELIX:
Do a check on her would you.

BOND:
Fake I.D is essential for a double agent. You'll never find anything to link her to Russia and her real identity.

FELIX:
Look, James, every time we meet I'm cleaning up the body of another beautiful 'double agent'. It's always the same. Is there something you need to tell me?

BOND:
I...I...can't help myself Felix. I'm sick. Stop me before I do it again.

END

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Dolly Dagger

  • Wednesday 20th May 2009, 2:56pm
  • England
  • 10,428 posts

It takes a while to get there - could possibly be edited a little - but it made me laugh! :)

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Tursiops

  • Wednesday 20th May 2009, 3:18pm
  • Welwyn Garden City, England
  • 9,788 posts

Nice idea, but there is really only the one gag, and that is, probably unavoidably, telegraphed. I think this could be a case where to make it stand up as a sketch you need to go beyond the initial simple idea and find a way of building and twisting it.

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Renegade Carpark

  • Wednesday 20th May 2009, 4:54pm
  • England
  • 11,291 posts

I really liked this pedros. The concept of Bond being some type of serial murderer and trying to cover it up with his espionage activities is a cracking concept.

Brings new meaning to the phrase 'lady killer'.

Well done.

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pedros

  • Wednesday 20th May 2009, 6:44pm
  • England
  • 154 posts
Quote: Timbo @ May 20 2009, 11:18 AM BST

Nice idea, but there is really only the one gag, and that is, probably unavoidably, telegraphed. I think this could be a case where to make it stand up as a sketch you need to go beyond the initial simple idea and find a way of building and twisting it.


Agreed. Apart from the 'telegraphed'. It is because you're reading the script, wouldn't be telegraphed if viewing.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 20 2009, 12:54 PM BST

I really liked this pedros. The concept of Bond being some type of serial murderer and trying to cover it up with his espionage activities is a cracking concept.

Brings new meaning to the phrase 'lady killer'.

Well done.


Thanks RC. I think I might take Timbo's advise and do a re-write. It is a rather good idea if I do say so myself.

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swerytd

  • Thursday 21st May 2009, 12:47pm
  • Guildford, England
  • 7,526 posts

Yeah, good idea. As DD and Timbo imply, there is just a bit of pizzazz missing that a rewrite could fix.

Dan