"School for the deaf. Does that mean there will be noise or the won't be noise?" ... "Their just deaf, they're not deaf offenders?"

"They've rebadged it you fool"

I could do this all day.

"I've got a fat back"

"I can feel an udder on my leg."

Quote: Leevil @ June 3 2009, 2:21 PM BST

Explain.

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(My dad was in the navy, a little monkey tagged along somewhere in Africa or summink, turned into the ship's pet, and fell off the boat in a storm.)

Back to the Alan quotes!

"You sound like a Bond villain, Dr. No-vocal chords"

Quote: zooo @ June 3 2009, 2:32 PM BST

(My dad was in the navy, a little monkey tagged along somewhere in Africa or summink, turned into the ship's pet, and fell off the boat in a storm.)

Back to the Alan quotes!

View original

Aw!!

"I'm gonna hump ya, like Deputy Dog would hump ya"

"I love you - In a way"

(INTO DICTAPHONE.) "Millenium barn dance to be held in Yeovilton Aerodrome. This must not - repeat not - be allowed to turn into an all-night rave."

"I don't cos I use Lynx Africa."

SONIA: Alan, would you like to make love?

''Er, No thankyou''

''I've got my hat hard-on''

"You haven't got a spoon?"

"I've pierced my foot on a spike!"

"D'you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly, or shall I maintain the same speed?"

"Don't laugh, you've broken your neck!"

Quote: Nil Putters @ June 3 2009, 7:43 PM BST

"D'you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly, or shall I maintain the same speed?"

View original

''Lyn, you've got minor womens whiplash...you were bent forward crouching like a mouse''

I have a question? If you didn't know who Steve Coogan was, or wasn't picturing Alan Partridge in your mind saying the lines...Would this be a successful script, i.e to read on paper?

I personally do. But would a script reader get the characters?

"I was just destroying my cereals."