I read the news today oh boy! Page 2152

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Rood Eye

  • Friday 27th March 2020, 8:38am [Edited]
  • England
  • 3,852 posts

I always found it very difficult to believe someone like Meghan Markle could ever settle down to a life in Canada.

I mean, Canada has much to recommend it but it's not exactly "showbiz".

Well, according to reports today she and Harry have upped sticks and are moving permanently to Los Angeles, California.

What a girl! An exotic American TV star steals Britain's most eligible bachelor and drags him by the erection all the way back to Hollywood.

You really couldn't make it up but, then again, you don't have to - because it's real.

BCG members might be interested to learn that (according to a source I trust) Prince Charles, who is usually regarded as the very embodiment of stuffiness, has, ever since this rather strange relationship began, been saying to his friends, "You'll have to forgive Harry: he's a little c***-struck at the moment."

I kid you not. Those are his very words.

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Paul Wimsett

  • Friday 27th March 2020, 11:16am
  • Folkestone, United Kingdom
  • 3,379 posts

Was the erection Frogmore Cottage?

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Rood Eye

  • Friday 27th March 2020, 4:23pm
  • England
  • 3,852 posts

I didn't actually "read" this news item but I can tell you that yesterday on a regional TV news bulletin, a woman was interviewed about the shortage of fruit pickers.

Her name was Becki Berry. Laughing out loud

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Rood Eye

  • Sunday 29th March 2020, 3:32pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 3,852 posts

This wasn't in the papers but it's interesting enough when you're self-isolating, especially for fans of Girls Aloud.

Years ago, when the band was brand-new, they were booked to appear on a morning TV show called "Popworld" - as well as just about every other TV show their management could get them booked into!

They duly arrived for "Popworld" and everything was looking good - especially the girls' very wobbly chests.

Well, I say their chests were looking good but that was only the majority view: the view of those actually running the show was that there was absolutely no way those wobbling boobs were going to appear on "Popworld" as it was a morning TV show and there were strict regulations in force.

A lot of debate and argument ensued, with the girls insisting they should be allowed to perform bra-less and the guys whose jobs were on the line insisting there was no way that was going to happen.

Eventually, the girls relented and a young man on work experience doing his first day's work as a runner was charged with the task of asking Cheryl, Nadine, Sarah, Nicola and Kimberley their bra sizes and jotting the details down on a bit of paper. His task was then to leg it down to Marks & Spencer on Oxford Street and purchase the required wobble-stoppers.

He made it back to the studio just in time, somewhat hot and sweaty (from the running, obviously) and gave the girls their bras which they promptly proceeded to put on.

The show then proceeded without a hitch.

After the show, the host (Simon Amstell) was sitting around with a group of people who were unaware of the earlier panic.

As the young runner, purely by chance, walked by, Simon stopped the conversation, pointed at the young lad and said "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the man with the best job in the world!"

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Chappers

  • Sunday 29th March 2020, 5:34pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 30,933 posts
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 26th March 2020, 9:31 PM

But has she ever "entered into a marriage"?

Maybe somebody else's.

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Alfred J Kipper

  • Monday 30th March 2020, 9:08pm
  • Aldershot, England
  • 6,089 posts

Driver stopped by police had wife in boot. Er so? Tell me if I'm missing something here, is this not normal?

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Chappers

  • Monday 30th March 2020, 10:33pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 30,933 posts
Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 30th March 2020, 9:08 PM

Driver stopped by police had wife in boot. Er so? Tell me if I'm missing something here, is this not normal?

I heard that joke too.

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john tregorran

  • Tuesday 31st March 2020, 7:58pm
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 999 posts

Trump concentrating on the important issues as per usual ie: him.

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chipolata

  • Wednesday 1st April 2020, 11:54am
  • England
  • 30,066 posts

I like that all his cabinet and all the experts have to start each statement by thanking Trump for his glorious leadership and his fantastic hair. No other President in US history has had such a fragile ego that they need it fluffing at every opportunity.

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Rood Eye

  • Friday 3rd April 2020, 3:54pm
  • England
  • 3,852 posts

You won't find this in the newspapers but, in a branch of Superdrug yesterday, a well-known celebrity spent £40 and, as quietly and anonymously as was possible under the circumstances, gave his "points" to an old lady in the queue behind him.

It was Stephen Mulhern.

Good man, I say!

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Chappers

  • Friday 3rd April 2020, 9:46pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 30,933 posts
Quote: Rood Eye @ 3rd April 2020, 3:54 PM

You won't find this in the newspapers but, in a branch of Superdrug yesterday, a well-known celebrity spent £40 and, as quietly and anonymously as was possible under the circumstances, gave his "pants" to an old lady in the queue behind him.

It was Stephen Mulhern.

Good man, I say!

Pervert!