I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,058

An American congresswoman may today be regretting her attacks on Donald Trump.

Newspapers have published a substantial amount of evidence suggesting that the hapless woman might be guilty of education fraud, immigration fraud, bigamy and incestuous marriage.

Seriously folks, if you know somebody who is immensely rich, immensely powerful and utterly ruthless - never, ever, ever piss them off.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 18th July 2019, 1:40 PM

An American congresswoman may today be regretting her attacks on Donald Trump.

Newspapers have published a substantial amount of evidence suggesting that the hapless woman might be guilty of education fraud, immigration fraud, bigamy and incestuous marriage.

Seriously folks, if you know somebody who is immensely rich, immensely powerful and utterly ruthless - never, ever, ever piss them off.

Irrespective of the outcome of this, I felt almost physically sick, and, indeed, frightened, by the behaviour of the baying mob of Trump's supporters at the latest rally. What on earth are Americans (not all of them) becoming? It really does smack of Hitler's rabble-rousing.

Quote: Briosaid @ 18th July 2019, 2:23 PM

I felt almost physically sick, and, indeed, frightened, by the behaviour of the baying mob of Trump's supporters at the latest rally.

# me too. I predict a riot. The trouble with ruthless tactics is they attract a ruthless opposition. Bringing in Boris will not ease the divide in the UK either. The Toxteth and Brixton riots were a reaction to institutionalised racism from the Police. But to their credit they admitted (decades latter) that they were running off racism, big time. Trump is obviously racist and in full denial #black lives matters and also #me too movements both hatched under his prejudicial presidency. I predict a riot.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 18th July 2019, 1:40 PM

An American congresswoman may today be regretting her attacks on Donald Trump.

Newspapers have published a substantial amount of evidence suggesting that the hapless woman might be guilty of education fraud, immigration fraud, bigamy and incestuous marriage.

Seriously folks, if you know somebody who is immensely rich, immensely powerful and utterly ruthless - never, ever, ever piss them off.

Post a Iink to the newspaper evidence because at the moment it's just seems standard issue Trump racism and smears. Birther Movement 2, as it were. In fact, this whole Squad attack smacks of dead catting. He's basically trying to distract everybody from the sleazy video of him palling around in the nineties with a billionaire pedo.

Quote: LINH khanh @ 19th July 2019, 4:40 AM

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Oooh, tell me more. :D

Quote: LINH khanh @ 19th July 2019, 4:40 AM

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Nevermind that, what do you think about Ghosts?

A 68-year-old woman in Runcorn, Cheshire (where the sitcom Two Pints of Lager is set) has been convicted of the biggest individual benefit fraud in British history.

Apparently, she's conned the taxpayer out of £750,000 over the past 23 years.

She has yet to be sentenced but my guess is she'll have to do about 100 hours community service.

More to the point, how did she do it?

Quote: Briosaid @ 19th July 2019, 9:52 PM

More to the point, how did she do it?

It's funny you should ask that, Brio - as the woman is originally from Glasgow! :D

Basically, she did it by failing to disclose her father's death and by faking a number of illnesses.

When her father died, she continued to claim benefits (including expensive round-the-clock care payments) on his behalf for 12 years - even going so far as to enlist the help of an impostor to impersonate her father when benefits inspectors visited the house. Accordingly, she netted £600,000 over 12 years.

She also claimed falsely to be suffering from arthritis, asthma and dementia: that netted her another £125,000.

Her son also claimed £27,000 in carer's allowances for looking after her.

She also enlisted the help of her other son's girlfriend to make a false claim for care allowance that netted £3700.

After her arrest, she spent a month at a psychiatric hospital where five psychiatrists agreed there was absolutely nothing wrong with her.

However, she has since been diagnosed with "factitious illness disorder" - which basically means that she invents illnesses.

She turned up at court in a wheelchair and appeared disoriented but the judge was having absolutely none of it and told her she would go to prison.

However, I won't believe it until she's actually sentenced.

Hmm. My father died in '69, so I think I've missed the boat there. On the other hand, I think I could easily pass for a loony.

In principle, there appears to be no reason why women TV presenters should be paid less than their male counterparts.

It does, however, appear to be a matter of principle rather than a state of affairs having any unpleasant practical consequences for the women involved.

Reports in today's newspapers reveal that high-profile women presenters are earning up to £25,000 for a few hours' work outside their normal TV jobs - frequently hosting awards ceremonies and speaking at business conferences, etc.

If I were in charge of ensuring that workers throughout Britain were paid a fair wage with no gender bias, I think I might be concentrating my efforts at the lower end of the employment market rather than worrying about women on TV being paid absolutely colossal sums while their male counterparts are paid even more.

I'd get around to ungenderising the pay packets those almost-unbelievably rich TV women eventually, of course, but, for the moment, it's a question of priorities, isn't it?

It was exactly 51 years ago today that I took off from China to Venus on a stick of celery with my pet hamster Kevin. Half way up, the gravity was so intense that my testicles dropped well ahead of their time to the level of my toe nails.

When travelling though the Great Bear, the soles of my space boots fell apart but all of this had been planned years before. I simply chiseled a cleavage in my ball bag and turned it into shoes.

On our arrival, Kevin spent 147 hours reading through the detailed instructions. They were a mere three sentences long but he had only just started to learn Mandarin.

When translated, they said "Circumnavigate until you can land at the Ocean of Serenity. Leave the capsule and locate Chairman Mao floating in a tin can. Then sing the lyrics of "Knees Up Mother Brown" to the tune of "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane". This, being the consummate professional I am, I duly did.

Our return was in two sections. The first was gradual. We stopped off for tea and cucumber sandwiches with God who was sitting on a sun spot with an assortment of vestel virgins. We also played several rounds of golf.

Then we got back on the celery stick and released ourselves down what was the final hole before plummeting rapidly down to a paddy field.

It was here while Kevin was having a well earned bucket of cognac that my shoes which in the process had flown up to my ears were remodified and returned by farmers to a location just below my cock.

And a ghostly woman appeared with a strange upside down book that she said was to be read in two ways : down and up - but as Nixon said to me wryly during Watergate that story had already been written in reverse.

I am a little surprised that there is nothing in the papers about this.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 20th July 2019, 5:54 PM

I am a little surprised that there is nothing in the papers about this.

The story was suppressed by the Chinese government because they felt the world would not believe it without some semi-realistic film footage to back up your account.

The Americans took note and the rest, as they say, is history.

There IS film footage. It was sewn into my brain in 1987 by Rosanna Arquette. She had borrowed a coat hanger from Cheech and Chong and hooked it in while we were having sex on the Ventura HIghway. Sometimes I watch it but it requires the insertion of a telescopic camera that was specially designed by NASA.

It is made of caulifower and carrot and when put into my left ear, it enables my eustachian tube to work just like an eyeball. .This can all be read up in more detail in the biography Geroge Bush Senior wrote about me, As for Kevin, and I'm grateful that you have kindly asked me about his well-being, he's still here but sadly he isn't what he was,

I've noticed your stories are becoming,let's say,a little more adult.Keep it up !