Any thoughts on this?

INT: NEWSROOM. - NIGHT

THE NEWS ANCHOR IS SITTING AT HIS DESK IN THE STUDIO.

ANCHOR
This just breaking, over to Juliet outside 10 Downing Street…. Juliet?

EXT: DOWNING STREET. – NIGHT

JULIET IS TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE.

JULIET
Yes John, a few moments ago, we were handed this statement by the Downing Street press office. Their spokeswoman declined to comment further at this time. If I may John, I’ll read from that prepared statement.

SHE BEGINS READING FROM A SINGLE SHEET OF PAPER.

JULIET
The Prime Minister would like to resolve an issue that has lately become the focus of much media attention…. It appears that some confusion has arisen from members of his staff covertly organizing a surprise leaving party for the day he steps down from office…. Whilst searching for a suitable location for the function, of which many were explored, the Borough of Brighton may have been asked how much they would want for the pier. The Prime Minister would like to reiterate that he had no knowledge of this prior to today, and that he can see how easily mistakes could be made. He now considers this to be the end of the matter…. Back to you in the studio Sir John.

INT: NEWSROOM. - NIGHT

ANCHOR
Well, there you have it. A simple misunderstanding… One last thing Lady Juliet.. Are we likely to hear anymore from the Prime Minister on this?

EXT: DOWNING STREET. – NIGHT

JULIET
Certainly not tonight Sir John. The Prime Minister is having dinner with Lord and Lady Bono of Killiney, Baroness and Sir David Beckham and… er…. Mr and Mrs Brown.

INT: NEWSROOM. - NIGHT

ANCHOR
Lady Juliet Altringham there, live from Downing Street …. Well, that seems to have cleared up that unfortunate circumstance. I, for one, will not be pursuing that obvious and understandable error any further …. And that wraps things up for tonight…. I’ll be back tomorrow. So, it’s good night from me, Sir John McDonald, KBE….. Good Knight.

Sorry, didn't work for me. I assume the central joke revolves around pier/peer? Now, I love a good pun but the words aren't right here and the pun doesn't work. Similarly the good knight pun at the end only works on paper. If it's performed he's just saying good night. No joke.
Overall though I think the biggest problem is that it's too close to real life. Everybody now expects politicians to make lame or convoluted excuses for their actions. Similarly we all expect them to hand out gongs to people who do them favours. So, all told there isn't really much of a twist to it.

Hi Steve, I think Juliet's lines are too long. Don't you mean EXT NIGHT Downing St? I like the idea of a mixed up political and social landscape but try to signpost this better. Could work with a couple more drafts!

Quote: Fred Peters @ February 2, 2007, 1:42 PM

Don't you mean EXT NIGHT Downing St?

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Damn that cut 'n' paste! Thanks for the comments. This is clearly not really working as a sketch. Cheers.