Comedians with no material

I am just seeing if their are any comic's on hear that are between 18 and 35 and have a funny way about them but no material. I have been selling stand up for the last year. I am looking to have more input in the performance and profit ha. If your interested just get in touch

Quote: john leb @ February 25 2011, 2:15 PM GMT

I am just seeing if their are any comic's on hear that are between 18 and 35 and have a funny way about them but no material. I have been selling stand up for the last year. I am looking to have more input in the performance and profit ha. If your interested just get in touch

Sorry, you don't exactly strike me as the type who presides over the dominion of words with unquestioned authority.

oi c**t buy a joke or I'll fackin do ya!

Quote: David Bussell @ February 25 2011, 2:19 PM GMT

Sorry, you don't exactly strike me as the type who presides over the dominion of words with unquestioned authority.

Image
:D

Many many years ago when I was young, I remember reading the ads for comedy scripts and jokes for sale in The Stage. I decided to purchase. God was it crap! Was it Stan someone or other? Can't remember. Beware peddlars of funnies.

Hey Doctor Chutney, what do you recommend to reign this swelling in?

I am just seeing if their are any comic's on hear

Those opening words are so bad it surely has to be a wind up.

Someone was trying to make us 'cluck'

You would hope.

I'm upset to see John has yet to return.

I would be interested to see what might happen if a 36 year old wanted some of his top notch material.

I am sorry for the poor grammar I am dyslexic. I just noticed a few stand up competitions that are coming up this year and wondered if their were any likeable comedians that have crap jokes. I no I should get up and do my own jokes. I just couldn't do it. I don't really no why I put an age range in. I should of put height and weight restrictions as well

Unfortunately I am unable to help you with standup. However as you asked so nicely I am willing to share with you, free of charge, the Accbackman trademark Zeitgeist sketch paradigm. It goes a little like this.

Are you aware of the ipod? Maybe you are. Are you aware of the iphone? It is possible. Are you aware of the ipad? Perhaps.

What do all of these items have in common?

That's right! They all use the prefix "i" to indicate that they are modern. Have you noticed this naming device being used on any other products? Could be.

Now my sketch paradigm goes like this: you are attempting to create an advert for a fictional device or item. This fictional device must be a variation on an existing device will be named using the prefix i. Now, in order for this sketch to work you must ensure that the item on which you are providing a variation is intrinsically antiquated or in no way associated with technology. This creates i-ncongruence which will lead to humour. So, products such as the i-computer will not work, nor the i-pod, this already exists.

Have you grasped this idea? Maybe you have come up with some products of your own, the "I-spade" perhaps or the "I-loom". Now, supposing you want to take this to the next level you can begin to use simple wordplay, the example I am going to use is the "i-eye" a bionic eyeball which can be implanted into the eye socket of a blind person or a friend.

In this example we are utilising the fact that the letter I and the word eye sound the same in conjunction with the fact that the eye is not considered to be technological.
Maybe if you're sharp you have noticed that "I-eye" sounds like something a pirate might say, you might want to capitalise on this by offering products which supplement the "i-eye" like the "i-patch". This is another use of the similarity between the word eye and the letter i, but nobody will notice, I doubt.

Next give an example of how your product might be used, if you can try to make this topical and interesting. An example is below:

"The i-eye, maybe it would be used by the referees in the 2010 world cup, who didn't see a goal go over the line."

As you can see I have achieved being topical which is the holy grail of the comedy writer.

And remember, Accbackman's golden tip for writing advert sketches, the first line MUST be, "are you.." followed by a type of person who might be a potential user.

What do you call a comedian with no material? A naked comedian. (or B Johnny Vegas?)

Quote: john leb @ February 25 2011, 2:15 PM GMT

I am just seeing if their are any comic's on hear that are between 18 and 35 and have a funny way about them but no material. I have been selling stand up for the last year. I am looking to have more input in the performance and profit ha. If your interested just get in touch

In all honesty very few stand ups buy material, generally only top circuit comedians who are regularly appearing on TV and getting through a lot of jokes.

Even the ones who do buy jokes tend to do so from writers with a proven track record.

The best suggestion that I can make is get your writing out there as much as you can, if you write short one-liners put some of them out on Twitter (I've gained writing jobs by doing this) or if your material is longer perhaps write a blog (and make sure you persevere with it, half of being a writer is proving that you're not a quitter).

To be absolutely honest I don't know if there are (m)any people who are purely stand up writers, most are writer/performers, so unless you are prepared to get on stage and try out the material yourself then the odds are stacked against you, good luck though!

And generally they don't pay much and will sift through hundreds before buying a couple.

The real money is helping people who aren't funny be funny.

So if you can sell or edit wedding speeches or text gags for office bores. That's where the money is in gag writing.

I am writing sitcoms and things and have just got an agent which should make things easier apparently . I just thought their might be a comedian on hear with no decent material . I have been selling stand up comedy and like you say the money is not great especially when you think they will be making a mint. I like the johnny Vegas line,,,you could maybe add John bishop and paddy Guinness great characters crap jokes