Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 25

Quote: Charley @ September 7 2010, 3:30 PM BST

Ooooh John Lucas goes to Waitrose, buys Edam Cheese. Cuts a hole in it & f**ks it.

Quite frankly who doesn't.

The Rolling Stones next gig will be broadcast live from Charley's Vagina. Apparemtly more capacious than the Albert Hall.

Roscoff and I are neighbours, and he f**ked my cat.

Gavin regularly sneaks into supermarkets and pisses in bottles of Cravendale milk, after they failed to commission him to do the stop-motion animation for their adverts. He also inserts lumps of his own faeces into jars of Dolmio, for reasons he alone knows.

Tim Walker changed his name from Tit Wanker after his business split-up with Samantha Fox. They co-owned a massage parlour - solely for disabled, homosexual black dwarves with paedeophilic tendancies - but fell out over the degree of P.C.that the business was displaying. Sam now spends her days tucking her breasts into her ankle socks, and Tim inseminates goats - personally.

Juan has bitty from the tits of dead women.

Charley Has unfortunately remained silent to this day about a somewhat damaging involvement in the great Claris Cliff scandal of 1884. Archaeologists have finally been able to excavate evidence from Mr Ming's (Of China) patio and dug deep enough to uncover the truth that's alluded pot makers everywhere. It's recently been controversially documented that the flowery pattern (Adopted by some of our greatest potters residing in Staffordshire) actually originated in Betty Arkensaw's loft conversion, and wasn't actually the brainchild a one Mr Ming's (of China) favourite ambidextrous cat. Inside the latest copy of "Potter Wheel" (Sold in all major high street Dixon's) all will be revealed along with Photo's, magic clay and a state of the art water dispenser.

Shaker Maker was one of the most popular toys of the 1970's. Moulds of various characters (Top Cat, Disney etc.) would be filled with the special shaker liquid and then shaken. Once dry they would be painted giving children around the worlds years of pleasure. That is they would, if Reiss Ellesse hadn't individually tampered with each of the 10 million sold, causing them to shrink and contort into hideous demons. It takes a lot to call Santa a c**t.

Will Cam only breathes on Tuesdays

Roscoffs Left arm is much shorter than his right arm due to his sadistic badger baiting addiction in the early 60's.

Reiss Ellesse's real name is Ron Noodle.

Frankie Rage Once had so many insanely trivial superstitions before cooking his seven differently coloured pet shoe's their favourite, Nepalese orientated cup cakes, he almost forgot the integral part of being a well respected psychiatrist to his O.C.D sufferers and only put out his supposedly burning curtains eighteen times.

Reiss Ellesse is a goodwill ambassador for Trebor soft mints.

The 'H' in Harry H Corbett is married to Tuumble's sister.

Quote: Will Cam @ September 9 2010, 11:42 AM BST

The 'H' in Harry H Corbett is married to Tuumble's sister.

Will Cam? Only time Will Tell.

Davids Autobiography 'Hustlin' Bussell'
Is available now from all good books shops & two of the bad ones.