Quote: Tim Walker @ August 4 2009, 11:23 AM BST

Surely if it's a tour guide, the stories have to be true? Wouldn't trying to make them "funny" basically equate with "lying" in this case? I think I could write some hilarious stories compared with the ones in, say, the tourist guide for The Tower Of London. Not that any of them would be true, of course.

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I was on a tour boat recently and they do like to throw in jokes along with the facts, abit like those hilarious jokes teachers use. Like a Jack the Ripper tour guide would do something like, "and here's where Mary Kelly was murdered. The killer removed her entrails and put them around the room. Mary wasn't too happy - in fact you could say she was gutted...."

That kind of writing might be a bit of stretch for me. I withdraw my application.

I dunno

Quote: Tim Walker @ August 4 2009, 11:49 AM BST

That kind of writing might be a bit of stretch for me.

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You could use that line for a tour of the London Dundegons torture gallery.

I think the OP is talking about the stories they tell as part of their tour. From what I gather they want someone to make them funny and therefore more entertaining.

If the ravens left the Tower Of London, my mate would be out of a job.
He's a raven shit cleaner-upper.

And this is where Jack The Ripper killed prostitutes.
I guess he wasn't too happy with the price they charged him.

Damn, I can't better that "gutted" gag.

"This is where a fish popped out of his victims stomach. Jack is alleged to have dropped the knife and exclaimed – 'What's a nice plaice like you doing in a girl like this!'"

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ August 4 2009, 12:22 PM BST

Damn, I can't better that "gutted" gag.

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That's probably not a good sign, Mikey.

Quote: David Bussell @ August 4 2009, 3:46 PM BST

That's probably not a good sign, Mikey.

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Why you!

er... I mean

jack the ripper........he cut quite a figure in his day.

god bless you groucho marx