Took the liberty of entering more than one Platform Quickies too. Does that make me a bad person? ;-)

Again, feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks

Dan
============================================================================
PLATFORM QUICKIES
=================

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Due to a loss of franchise during this journey, the 8:14 to London Bridge is now the 9:03 express to Bristol. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Due to the late running of an earlier train, the late 8:14 to London Bridge will now be earlier. Passengers are asked to move to platform 4, where it departed five minutes ago.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) This is a platform change announcement. Platform 3 has changed into a small, blue yacht. Thank you.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNO: (D) I’m sorry to announce that the 8:14 to London Bridge has reached its Health and Safety limit for ‘fiendish’ sudoku. Passengers may only attempt easy or medium levels of difficulty on this train.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) We apologise for the late arrival of the 8:14 to London Bridge. This is due to the driver winning £50,000 on a radio breakfast show phone-in.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Would customers be advised that all screens on all platforms are erroneously displaying a destination of ‘Camberwick Green’. This is due to an incident at Trumpton.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) The 8:14 slow train to London Bridge is now the 7:43 express, due to malfunctioning signals. We apologise for the lack of delay to your service.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Would customers on the 8:14 to London Bridge please be aware that the arrival platform has been removed for routine maintenance. Please mind the gap.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) I’m sorry to announce that the 8:14 to London Bridge has been cancelled as the track has proven to be Lego. We apologise for this oversight.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) The 8:14 to London Bridge is running late due to speed bumps. This is due to a government clampdown on speeding.

F/XLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) The 8:14 to London Bridge has been replaced by a train from Hornby Railways. This is due to budgeting problems at eBay.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Would customers please note that the first four carriages of the 8:14 to London Bridge have been designated ASBO carriages. These are for holders of Burbery-class tickets only.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Due to engineering works, the 8:14 to London Bridge bus replacement service has been replaced by rickshaw. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Due to the cancellation of an earlier freight train, all carriages on the 8:14 to London Bridge may contain livestock. Passengers wishing to avoid static shock are asked not to rub the sheep.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Due to satellite navigation equipment from Halfords, the train due at plaform 1 will now arrive at the ‘Pick Up and Drop’ area at the front of the station. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Passengers wishing to disembark at the next station are asked to text ‘VOTE STOP’ to 81212. This is due to shameless profiteering.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) The 8:14 to London Bridge has been delayed due to connection problems. All trains have been welded together by miscreants and cannot be prised apart. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.

F/XPLATFORM TANNOY BONG

PLATFORM ANNOD) Passengers are reminded that all the best bits from this week’s platform announcements are available as a podcast from this operator’s website.

END

Wasn't too hot on the Lego one, but otherwise bloody funny. Had me giggling away.

I Liked these too and I think they sat well with the brief and style that they were asking for in the competition

First two superb, the others were very good. Wasn't fussed on Blue yacht, Lego, or ebay. But that's only three. Blue yacht because it was too surreal.

i found it funny in some parts because we have probably all experience the annoying train service at one time, i thought it seemed a bit desperate in parts, especially lego, ebay and the rickshaw, the welding one was hilarious and so was the asbo one, it seems you have a talent for sketch writting, Dan, this again was very good, well done

were you even allowed to enter more than one?

Thanks for all your comments. They're very helpful. I wasn't sure about the Lego one but it got the biggest laugh when I read a few of them out. The ebay/blue yacht ones are a bit esoteric -- I think I was trying to be too clever as it's Radio 4!

dyingtolive said:

"were you even allowed to enter more than one?"

Artistic licence ;-) I wasn't sure, but I thought just sending a single one felt a bit like I hadn't really tried. I kept it under 700 words (think that was the limit on the sketches) and treated it as one sketch. Maybe you weren't and that's why I didn't get through. Maybe you were and they don't think I'm any good :-)

Cheers

Dan