Tell us a joke Page 274

Paul McCartney on vinyl day.
Why's he at the Bowie section? Looking for Changes.
Why's he at the Joy Division section? Getting Closer.
Why's he at the One Direction section? They're shit.

I wonder if Boris Becker has made it to the semi's yet.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 5th May 2022, 11:04 AM

Paul McCartney on vinyl day.
Why's he at the Bowie section? Looking for Changes.
Why's he at the Joy Division section? Getting Closer.
Why's he at the One Direction section? They're shit.

I hope you don't do that stuff live, it's a bit out of date. One Direction split up years ago and nobody really thinks about them anymore. You might as well do jokes about Milli Vanilli miming or something of that nature!

Yes, I've removed any McCartney from my act. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know.

What do you call a Norwegian with no sense of humour? Olaf.

I quite like that one

50 Cent said that after he first took cocaine he started seeing little blue men.
Go Snorty, it's your Smurf day

What do you call a Nordic god who complains about the noise? Odin.

I took a Norwegian friend to Valletta. But he wouldn't accompany me into any of the bars. Which just goes to show you can lead a Norse to Malta but you can't make him drink.

Paul McCartney said to George and Paul, 'I wouldn't marry Yoko.' They said, 'Nor we. John would.'

Why does Mick Jagger feel sad when people eat chocolate coated confectionery with assorted centres?

Sympathy for the Revel

What did Mick Jagger say to the hacker? "Hey you get out of my Cloud." Current and retro at the same time.

In my biology test, the question was 'What is most common in a cell'
Easy - a scouser.

What did Miley Cyrus Say to John Lennon? Nothing. He's dead. Didn't you know?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 13th May 2022, 9:49 AM

In my biology test, the question was 'What is most common in a cell'
Easy - a scouser.

Flight cancelled at John Lennon airport

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I asked Paul McCartney, Who has the biggest penis in South-East England? He said, Your mother should know.