SMYTHE ENTERTAINMENT TODAY

Today in Balderdash marks the 75th annual Sausage weighman show. The show begins at 9:00pm tonight and will have music by the country metal band the Fartknockers and comedy act Tate n Lyle will also be performing in the "Fosters Liver" tent as will celebrity contortionist Pat Rust until 9:45pm when the real fun begins, hosted by Olympic fish pointing coach and Geoff capes lookalike Ranjeet Paloot the 75th annual sausage weighman show will begin. It is sure to be a great evening with Toffee sausage counters and bean chucking till midnight to entertain your younger folks and for the elderly it's grope a granny too in the "Thora Hird" tent. So get yourselves down to Balderdash civic hall brewery gardens tonight. P.s Bring your own sausages as we cannot be responsible for non entry of sausages, sausages this year will be weighed by none other than local Smythe butcher Smothers greenback. See you there.

In other news Leyland puke the famous spoon player of Sudnem-on-Bucket has died aged 87, he was one of Smyhtes greatest spoon players and will be sadly missed by all of us here at "Smythe Entertainment today", and Beryl and Keith.

On Saturday famous Hollywood actor Shane Ritchie will be making an appearance at Balderdash swimming baths to take part in the under 6 bathing costume contest. It is sure to be fun. That is all the local entertainment news for today so see you soon. Bye.