FAKING NEWS Page 7

Prime Minister Boris Johnson's pledge to use wind farms to power every home in the UK within a decade is going to plan with 750 million Brussel sprouts being sold over the Christmas period.

The Covid-19 pandemic has driven down the biggest annual fall in CO2 from Greta Thunberg say researchers

Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has urged all Scottish men not to raise their kilts to celebrate Hogmanay.
"I am determined to stop cases rising," she told a press briefing.

The UK-EU post-Brexit trade deal will be signed in Brussels by EU chiefs before being flown to London. Downing Street said they can't wait for the Fokker to arrive

Memo to Pfizer Biontech-How's the anti Trump vaccine coming along?

I saw Trump at a brothel. I said, 'Come here often?' He said, 'Just once and I'm done.'

Covid-19: The UK sex industry fear they will go bust when Prime Minister Boris Johnson warns England's Lockdown won't end 'with a Bang'

British fitness couch Joe Wicks trumped during a live PE lesson watched by 800,000 people. Today, millions of people are now hoping to see an even bigger trump leave the White House.

In the early hours of this morning three men and one woman were arrested in a raid on a Pop-Up brothel in Darlington Co Durham. "We apprehended the men just before the crack of dawn," said a police spokesperson.

A man who exposed himself wearing a Star Wars mask was given a lifetime criminal behaviour order after targeting female joggers.
One of the joggers told the court he was acting suspicious and playing Hands Solo.

A false leg, sex toy, false teeth, a covid test and a small dog have been left on buses in Plymouth, Devon. Police are searching for a lead to the whereabouts of a hopping coughing sexually aroused person.

Quote: Thief Of Bad Gags @ 17th January 2021, 2:08 PM

In the early hours of this morning three men and one woman were arrested in a raid on a Pop-Up brothel in Darlington Co Durham. "We apprehended the men just before the crack of dawn," said a police spokesperson.

:)

The UK government backs birth control for grey squirrels who are causing damage to woodlands. Male squirrels sniff danger and now fear they are going to lose their nuts.

"Sex with old Sven-Goran Eriksson was like building an Ikea bookcase," said Swedish born TV presenter Ulrika Jonsson in a kiss and tell to a national newspaper. When asked if the bookcase was ever built, Ulrika said "Nope, Sven kept asking where does this bit go?"

Scientific research as found a cancer drug derived from a sea creature which is almost 30 times more powerful than the ones being used to stop the coronavirus spreading. Health Secretary Matt Hancock said. "Although this is good news the government will still continue to use the usual sharks to supply the UK with PPE."

Today, a man was jailed for turning golf balls into grenades in his shed. He tested the golf balls in nearby woods. A police spokesperson said about his arrest. "He was caught using the wrong wood."

Harry and Meghan would like privacy and the chance to live a normal life. They will not be making any public announcements regarding their lives as this is none of our business. There will be no further attention seeking today.