Gold Christmas cracker joke competition

It's that time again... Deadline to think up a topical festive gag is Sunday 25th October. Good luck! https://www.comedy.co.uk/pro/inside_track/cracker-joke-competition-2020/

Oh good.
Why did the man cross the road? To get to the other side at Christmas.

This has come round very quick. I have to say I didn't really think much of last years winning jokes.

I can't believe how many old jokes they accept just because they're dressed up with something topical. Last year's winner was -a- as old as an Italian politician and -b- pretty bad taste considering they're always going on about being family friendly. Still, I'm gonna try cos I'm a whore.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 10th October 2020, 2:03 PM

. Still, I'm gonna try cos I'm a whore.

I was gonna try but I'm not a whore so what do I do whore? Give up tryin' or become a whore?

My mother is not a whore. She does it for free.

Because it's free multiple entry, the scattergun approach means some people will try old jokes or previous winning jokes just on the off chance. Had that happen to me in the past couple of days where someone tweeted my fourth place joke from last year. I think we can trust the judges to filter out what's gone before and what's old party hat, and also to examine the Twitter timeline to see who came up with a gag first. We are, after all, all fishing in a very small pond ( topical subjects with a Christmas twist ) so there's bound to be duplication and I do try to be generous of spirit and give fellow jokesters the benefit of the doubt.

Having said that it doesn't take much to filter this year's entries to see if your latest rib tickler has already been Tweeted.

Not as bad as last year's, but yeah, the occasional oldie dressed up.

I liked some of this year's winners but there was a non Christmas one which was good, but a bit strange that a joke which has nothing to do with Christmas was one of the ten. To be fair, I put some jokes in that were very obviously shoehorned into the Christmas theme.

I pretty sure that one of the entry conditions was that the joke should have a Christmas theme so I sent in a joke about pirates and the 'R' number but made it Christmassy by saying that Pirates were banned from holding Christmas party to try and keep the argh number down. So I was a bit miffed that a similar joke made it into the top 20 but it didn't mention Christmas at all.

Quote: Jeremy Dillon @ 11th December 2020, 11:25 PM

I pretty sure that one of the entry conditions was that the joke should have a Christmas theme so I sent in a joke about pirates and the 'R' number but made it Christmassy by saying that Pirates were banned from holding Christmas party to try and keep the argh number down. So I was a bit miffed that a similar joke made it into the top 20 but it didn't mention Christmas at all.

Don't blame you!

Good pirate joke, I have to say.
It is in the rules but one or two have won in previous years which have nothing to do with Christmas. A few of mine slipped in without a Christmas theme and I deleted or tweaked them when I eventually realised; it is easy to forget that rule.

Still, congratulations to all the winners.

I went out with a pirate. He said, Totally devoted to you. I said, What is? He said, Me heart is. At Christmas.

It's back! And the rest of it.
Remember the winning formula: Why did the man cross the road? To get to the other side. At Christmas.

It's back!!!!!
Oh good.
This year's winner: What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper... At Christmas!!!!!!!

... At Christmas.
Can't be f**ked this year.