The Woke Joke thread

Here you can post a joke that must not offend anyone.

If you are offended you can challenge the poster.

Q. Why did the ****** **** the ********?
A. Because he was a ******* ****!
Is that what being 'woke' means? I thought it meant being liberal. And liberals often seem to cause offence.

'Woke' does not mean being Liberal.
'Woke' is either a self-congratulatory term used by people who think they, and only know, what's right.
Or it's an insult - used by me, mostly.

Quote: Lazzard @ 8th September 2020, 7:04 PM

'
'Woke' is either a self-congratulatory term used by people who think they, and only they know, what's right.

So Trump, Corbyn and Jeremy Clarkson are all woke. I get it now.

Sorry. I don't get any of them.

Corbyn.Who???

7 a.m. That's when I woke this morning. A little earlier than ideal but I obviously had the upcoming Hancock's Half Hour's episode "Sunday afternoon at home" on the wireless at 8 o'clock on my mind.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 9th September 2020, 9:03 AM

7 a.m. That's when I woke this morning. A little earlier than ideal but I obviously had the upcoming Hancock's Half Hour's episode "Sunday afternoon at home" on the wireless at 8 o'clock on my mind.

Hancock committed suicide.
Consider me 'triggered'.
Not Woke.

Oh well. This just proves my point that there are no jokes that somebody won't be offended by.

Last night I dreamed I was telling a joke about my mother-in-law (who as it happens, is medically obese, from a minority ethnic group and in a same sex relationship - given her stated gender is not her birth gender) - then I woke.

Three people of indeterminate nationality, height, weight and gender went into a bar.

I like the joke John Thompson did many years ago when he first started out in stand-up.

"There was a Jew, an Irishman and a Pakistani standing at a bus-stop...............what a wonderful picture of racial harmony"

Why did the little fluffy bunny rabbit start liking ballet, take up flower arranging, knit, go strictly vegan and sit on the M25 blocking traffic to single pawedly save the planet?

Because its favourite friend Bambi had been pickaxed in the skull, nuked by an exocet missile, had its head chopped off by Hillary Clinton and then finally been forced to read a year's editions of the Daily Mail..

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 27th October 2021, 9:52 AM

I like the joke John Thompson did many years ago when he first started out in stand-up.

"There was a Jew, an Irishman and a Pakistani standing at a bus-stop...............what a wonderful picture of racial harmony"

John Thompson developed that into a complete character piece, Bernard Righton. It was offensive to old school comedians, the insensitive asshole.

Why did the minority group cross the road? Because they have every right to.

Why did the Insulate Britain protesters walk into the middle of the road?
Because they haven't got a job and have nothing better to do and they want their own houses insulating for free.