Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 246

Playfull appeared briefly on screen during a few frames of the 1980s comedy Three Men and a Baby. Initially assumed to be a ghost, he was later revealed to be a cardboard cutout of actor Ted Danson which was to be used in a scene eventually cut from the finished film.

Chris Hallam has been described as the New Nostradamus. He has made astoundingly accurate statements describing in great detail world changing events. Unlike Nostradamus, who used a traditional verse based system - which leaves his predictions open to interpretation and question - Chris has developed a brand new field of postdictions. These allow him to be much more detailed in his descriptions of events and give him a near 100% success rate.
Chris came under attack recently by professor Brian Cox who called him a charlatan and asked what is the point of making a postdiction?
Chris hit back in typical style saying,"As soon as i read his article i knew he was going to say that! He should stick to the acting." Adding "the only prediction i can remember Coxy making was that 'Things can only get better' has he seen 2020?"

Whilst drunk Playfull ate a urinal block in a public toilet and pretended it was yummy. But his friends could see he was taking the piss.

Quote: Firkin @ 16th August 2020, 12:00 PM

Whilst drunk Playfull ate a urinal block in a public toilet and pretended it was yummy. But his friends could see he was taking the piss.

"Please refrain from chucking cigarette butts in the urinal, as I makes them difficult to light."

In one of the strangest pieces of casting ever seen on the British stage HGT spent the early years of his acting career as understudy for Arthur Askey. Despite the fact that he could not hold a tune, dance or in fact act HGT proved remarkably popular, when called upon to perform, with both audiences and fellow performers alike.

As Stinker Murdoch put it HGT was twice as tall as Arthur and only half the performer but he was a dream to work with compared to that constantly irritating bugger Askey.

Askey used to irritate the crap out of everyone with his non stop cheeky chappie act. Audiences would audibly groan when the house manager would announce that due to circumstances beyond his control Mr Askey's part would be taken by Mr Askey for the evenings performance. Famously Stinker Murdoch once tried to strangle himself backstage 10 minutes into The Ghost Train. Askey still holds the record at 19 for the most number of fellow dames to commit suicide during the run of a panto.

Sadly HGT's career stalled after he was to ill to stand in for a missing Askey. His place was taken by Murdoch's Labrador 'Blondie' who received rave reviews and so many curtain calls Stinker would bring Blondie's bed out. Like HGT, Arthur's stage career was over and he had to make do with just making bucket loads of money from Film and TV.

Playful is currently appearing in A Goat Ate My Y-Fronts at the Whitehall Theatre , London

Beneath the veneer of foppish waster, Lofthouse is actually has an extremely astute business mind. In 1973, predicting the prevalence of conspiracy theorists (ok, David Icke told him) He started buying shares in the British Industrial Foil Orginisation (BIFO). He is now the world's biggest supplier of tin foil hats having fitted out Noel Edmonds, Dianne Abbott (she ordered eleventy-a-hundred by mistake) and Julian Assange.

Ps - they are watching oo

Will Cam believes injecting bleach countes as one of your five a day.

Firkin's attempts to help during the Covid lockdown backfired badly yesterday when it was confirmed that his homemade face masks were responsible for nearly two thirds of all fatalities in the midlands. Firkin is devastated, said a close family friend - who no one in the family had ever heard of - to a liar from the Sun. "He only wanted to help", said the close family stranger. Adding no where in the Government guidelines does it say Vulcanised rubber is not a suitable material for face masks.

Playful has kept a diary since 1972. It's not his - the thieving bastard.

Will Cam is named after his famous webcam, The Will Cam, where for the last 12 years he has beamed live streaming coverage of his flaccid penis to the whole world

For 12 years lofthouse has watched Will Cams flaccid penis online....

Quote: playfull @ 20th September 2020, 9:07 PM

lofthouse has watched Will Cams flaccid penis online....

Playfull has avoided Will Cam's flaccid penus in order to improve his dick-shun.

Firkin once dated Lewis Hamilton's mother Maureen. She had split up from her husband at the time because of his obsession with monkfish. He bought young Lewis his first go-kart and is therefore accredited with setting young Lewis off on the path to stardom and to being a right pompous prick. Thanks Firkin....

Will Cam loves the Daily Express

However he says the ink sometimes rubs off onto his buttocks