Things that piss you off Page 1,785

I told my mother, sister and brother. We are family.

Quote: Aaron @ 1st August 2020, 1:51 PM

https://www.comedy.co.uk/info/terms_of_use/

This is a warning issued to everyone.

Definitely Baby Driver posted in the style of someone who was banned - or did he just change his name because he realised how much he'd angered people.

Try the YMCA

Supposed to be fun staying there apparently

Obsessed with 80s pop? Relax.
I don't give a f**k about Tik Tok.
The first year I was round these parts someone had two acc**ts and was banned. The funny part is that he voted for himself in the sketch comp. The satisfaction of being voted for, eh?

Today's woman (Not all women, of course. I just mean some.)
7 a.m. to 11 'Men are c**ts.'
11 - 12 'Men are still c**ts.'
12 - 1 p.m. 'I think men are c**ts.'
1 - 3 'Never trust a man. Men are all c**ts.'
3 - 4 'Take it from me, you're better off without a man. C**ts.'
4 - 5 'Gonna rip the shit out of all men on FB. And if any man criticises any woman, you know what he is? That's right.'
5 - 7 'Men are inferior, useless and c**ts.'
7 - 9 'Stay away from men. All c**ts.'
9 - 10 'Men? Oh, those c**ts?'
10 'Omg, going on a blind date, so excited!!!!! Can't wait!!! Awesome!!!!!!!!!! This could be the one... What should I wear this time?'
Repeat until death.

Lol

Men are c**ts though

What's the difference between a hysterectomy and a member of One Direction? A hysterectomy is not a total c**t.

Toilets that aren't flushed and even more with toilets that won't flush.

It said, Put only toilet paper down the toilet. So i shat on the floor.

I was having a poo once and as there was no paper I had to use my y-fronts to wipe my bottom

Then I got off the bus....

Good news, I have a new room and there's a sink in the corner so in the morning I don't have to get to the toilet. Bad news, still gotta wipe my arse afterwards.

I take it it's a padded cell.

Laughing out loud

I came out of prison still a virgin. I keep my ass covered.

And didn't drop the soap ?