Tell us a joke Page 236

I live next to a horse. My neeeiighbour.

Queen Victoria looked up to her Prince Albert where as Victorian S&M secret sex clubs looked down on theirs

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th June 2020, 2:13 PM

I never liked Hooky, but then I saw the Light.

I never liked Steve and Gillian, but then I heard the Other Two, and I f**king hated them.

Q. Why is Leonard Cohen like David Beckham?

A. They're both f**king awful singers!

What did John Lennon say to the Irish fencer? Nothing. He's dead.

Racists often disguise their racism by being nice to and about black people.

So, if you're black and you have white friends who treat you as their equal in every way, they're almost certainly planning to lynch you.

Pot calling the kettle not white.

At the Nestle confectionary factory, everyone cheered when a huge pallet of chocolate bars fell on a worker.
Asked why they all were jumping for joy a spokesman said - the man shouted 'the Milky bars are on me'

And as we hear a church bell tolling mournfully in the distance, we watch the tumbleweed roll past.

You forgot the cricket sounds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwfdbTvJDaQ

Eeee, but do nowt for t'me lad.

Or the whole shebang....................

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TNK916Pjto

During Wimbledon when Tennis balls go over into the Common
How many are recycled by the Wombles?

One ball in three.

I went to a short-sighted circumciser.
Can I have my ball back, please?

In a recent survey about what turns men on, it was discovered that kissing the nape of the neck was rated the highest.
Personally I think it's bollocks

Freddy Mercury tried half-castrations. I said, What's it like? He said, I'm having such a good time. I'm having a ball.