Tell us a joke Page 234

I never liked Hooky, but then I saw the Light.

A circus incontinent trapeze artist drowns out the applause

Boy George gives therapy to impotent, constipated reptiles. 'Calmer, Chameleon. You'll come and go.'

What's the difference between beef and pedos? Beef can be cured.

The Beatles ahead of their time... In 1963 they'd already created social distancing. Ringo was f**king miles behind.

What sounds like shit, looks like epilepsy and gives priests a boner? Tiktok.

DIY enthusiasts queue for four hours to enter Screwfix. Oh my God four hours! Have they got a screw loose?

McCartney accused of relying on old material: 'And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know.'
McCartney accused of giving shit songs to other singers: 'Yes I must do something about it.'
McCartney accused of writing repetitive Bsides: 'It's not true. It's not true. It's not true.'
McCartney accused of liking One Direction: 'F**k off you c**t.'

What's the difference between a fact and my mother? A fact has come to your attention.

Col De Sac says his social life as come to a dead end.

Cliff Richard tribute band. One Erection.

Millennials don't buy newspapers today because they are full of sheets

One Direction say, Our new album is shit hot. That's only half true.

What's a cow's favourite breakfast cereal? Mooslie.
What's a cow's favourite fictional character? Moowglie.
What's a cow's favourite One Direction album? None. They're all shit. Even a f**king cow realises that.

The FA has bowed to pressure to combine men's and women's football in the interests of diversity and inclusion.

From next season, every football team in England and Wales has to be five men and five women but the goalie can be either gender as long as he/she wasn't born that way.