Things that piss you off Page 1,779

My best guess is that, because Kevin is a carrot, he is concerned that as few of his fellow carrots as possible should be put to death for human consumption.

Rather macabre, I know.

Replacement toilet seats.Ours has broke,no problem,easy enough to replace.You'd think most toilets are the same size.Not here they are not !

Quote: lofthouse @ 3rd April 2020, 12:14 PM

Candles. They get on my wick

Huh? Candles are wicked.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 3rd April 2020, 12:35 PM

Chauffeurs who take me to places that are not accessible by driving in a single straight line from our starting point.

They drive me round the bend.

Ten years with a taxi and still nothing to chau fer it.
I don't like livestock rustlers. They get my goat.
I don't like handkies. They get up my nose.
I don't like One Direction. They're shit.

The only thing I hate more than coronavirus are all these cute, twee, limp-wristed 'let's all be nice' comments all over bacefook. 'Think of three things you like every day for thirty days.' No. F**k you. How the f**k can I think of three things I like every day for thirty days? There are only five Spice Girls. I wouldn't even get through the weekend. And even if I did, it'd still be Monday afterwards. So f**k you. Really. No joke coming. F**k you.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 11th April 2020, 9:03 AM

'Think of three things you like every day for thirty days.'

Horse racing, football, Wimbledon fortnight, the Open golf championship, having a bet on live sporting events, meeting friends at the races, seeing my 8 year old great niece & 4 year old great nephew, going to the theatre, popping down to Dorset for a few days, meeting friends for coffee, going out for tea & cake, holidays in Tenerife...

Mmm, that's cheered me up no end. :(

Day 1. Mel C, Melanie C, Sporty Spice.
Day 2. Mel Chisholm, Melanie Chisholm, Mel 'Sporty' C.

The invisible man when he ejaculates. I can't see where he's coming from.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 11th April 2020, 10:05 AM

Day 1. Mel C, Melanie C, Sporty Spice.
Day 2. Mel Chisholm, Melanie Chisholm, Mel 'Sporty' C.

You forget that Mel from the Spice Girls.

Variety Is the life of Spice.

Every time I visit this site people keep trying to sell me Ottomans

Do i look like Thora Hird?

Sex changes get on my tits.

Behind a woman in a supermarket who let the cashier scan all the items and then started asking what individual items cost and asked for about 10 items to be cancelled. Why didn't they look at the price when it was on the shelf?

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 22nd April 2020, 8:53 PM

Behind a woman in a supermarket who let the cashier scan all the items and then started asking what individual items cost and asked for about 10 items to be cancelled. Why didn't they look at the price when it was on the shelf?

Because she was a silly arse?

Quote: Briosaid @ 22nd April 2020, 8:59 PM

Because she was a silly arse?

Laughing out loud I'm usually good and letting annoying moments like that pass without letting it bother me but the woman was having a little discussion with I assume her daughter on what items to leave and what to put in the trolly making it very confusing for the cashier. She then tried paying with a voucher on her phone so the manager had to be called over but it wasn't working because the screen on her phone was cracked so it wasn't scanning. I was more annoyed with myself because the store was empty so I could have gone to a self service checkout and saved myself 15 minutes of standing there watching a woman debate over a tin of powdered milk but that awkward British thing meant I couldn't put my shopping back in my trolly and walk off which might have looked like an impatient hissy fit.

Why do people keep taking me seriously?