King Lear

Having just heard that Billy Shakespeare wrote King Lear while on lock down from the plague I have decided to once again pick up my quill in the hope that this time my voice will be heard.
And I would ask that all my fellow writers do like wise if they are not already and we can share our stuff on here if they feel like and if its allowed? And perhaps the 'Pro Section' could be free during isolation?

I should imagine that 'Virus Comedies' will be common but not that popular as everyone will want to forget this period. As such I will be writing retro stuff as people like to look back further than the hard times they recently remember.

So in homage to the Bard my first work will be based loosely on Julius Caesar set in 1970's Liverpool and will feature a spectacular and hilarious murder of the lead while he is riding on the ferry. I also have a plan to cast Craig Charles as a character called Iago in the 60's retro Scouse sitcom 'O Hello' its about an over friendly Scouser.

Great idea, Teddy!

I've already started "The Two Gentlemen of Coronavirus".

I'd watched that.

If only it all turns out to be much ado about nothing...

aye there's the rub

I wanted to post a Shakespearean pun but I don't have time.

I'm going out at tem pest two.

Shakespeare didn't know what to call his son. Toby or...

You want drowning in salt water for that one Roody and then have the seagulls pick at your remains.

Shakespeare left no inheritance. He died without 'airs.

Shakespeare was not great around children but his wife Anne Hathaway with kids.
(I'll get my cloak)

I was co-directing Much Ado About Nothing with my good friend Tina Turner and suggested we double the female lead. She refused. She said, 'We don't need another Hero.'

This clearly now has to stop!

When I was a very young man, I used to go out with a girl who was very keen on Shakespeare.

She was happy to engage in various types of foreplay but she'd get annoyed if I fiddled with her chest, frequently chiding me with "Let not ever the soul of Nero enter this firm bosom".

Happily, however, she was quite happy for me to play around in other areas but, as soon as the act itself was initiated, she wanted it over and done with in 10 minutes.

She was obsessed with the timing of the screw!

PS. Did I mention she was tight as Andronicus?

I was watching Much Ado about Nothing with my good friend David Bowie when one of the performers ran offstage, dropping her purse. I said, 'I wonder who that belongs to.' David shrugged. 'Could be Hero's.'

Again, when I was a very young man and not in any way "woke", I was chatting with a very attractive young woman in a bar and we were getting along quite well.

She was certainly good fun to be with and every time I downed a short, she matched me measure for measure.

She told me she lived in a nearby hamlet and I immediately suggested going back to her place.

"Why would we do that?" she asked.

I leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Because I'd like to cop Ophelia."