Status report Page 6,058

Quote: Chappers @ 6th December 2019, 9:39 PM

Name names you chicken if they've snuffed it.

Only one of them has snuffed it.

The other one is still a very successful TV personality.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 6th December 2019, 10:10 PM

Only one of them has snuffed it.

The other one is still a very successful TV personality.

Well you're half a chicken.

For the first time in decades, I have just eaten some Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate.

I remember reading many years ago that it had gone right downhill since Kraft took over the company.

It has. :(

At the airport for a quick trip to visit my parents in Florida.

Bon voyage!

If we'd woken up with Corbyn as PM, McDonnell as Chancellor and Abbott as Home Secretary, we'd all be at the airport.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 13th December 2019, 6:11 PM

If we'd woken up with Corbyn as PM, McDonnell as Chancellor and Abbott as Home Secretary, we'd all be at the airport.

Laughing out loud

On the plane in Houston. Next stop: West Palm Beach. I wonder if The Donald will be in town this weekend?

Quote: DaButt @ 13th December 2019, 6:22 PM

Laughing out loud

On the plane in Houston. Next stop: West Palm Beach. I wonder if The LYING ARSEHOLE will be in town this weekend?

I see the great man is a bit miffed being upstaged by a 16 year old girl :)

And nice to see he was magnamous in defeat.

You would have to tell him what that word meant and he still wouldn't understand it.

Quote: chipolata @ 14th December 2019, 11:17 PM

And nice to see he was magnamous in defeat.

Quote: john tregorran @ 15th December 2019, 3:35 AM

You would have to tell him what that word meant and he still wouldn't understand it.

To be fair, that could be because there's no such word.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 15th December 2019, 10:26 AM

To be fair, that could be because there's no such word.

Scene: a wood in olde England.

Chip is thanking a stranger for his generosity .

CHIP: I have to say that's very magna . . .

Enter a group of knights, hurriedly.

KNIGHTS (interrupting): Ni!

CHIP: . . . mous of you.

KNIGHTS (TO CAMERA): and you've been wondering for 44 years what we do all day!

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 15th December 2019, 10:26 AM

To be fair, that could be because there's no such word.

I was posting from a phone while drunk so I'm pretty impressed I got that close.

I've just returned from the post office in a state of shock after finding out that a second class stamp costs 61p.

As if that were not bad enough, seven of the bastards cost £4.27

The last time I bought a stamp was probably about 1990 so you can understand my shock at finding out what they cost these days.

In the past, my partner was responsible for sending out all the Christmas cards and since her departure five years ago I've been stamping Christmas cards using stamps from a small ornate wooden box in which I've been keeping unfranked stamps that, over the past few decades, I've steamed off Christmas cards that have somehow evaded the franking process en route to my house.

Unfortunately, that box now contains only five first-class stamps and I'm buggered if I'm sending anybody a Christmas card with a first-class stamp on it.

The worst thing about it is that, out of the seven Christmas cards I've just posted, only two or three of them are going to people about whom I actually give a damn. The others are going to people about whom I don't give a damn but to whom I don't want to stop sending Christmas cards in case they take offence.

On the other hand, £4.27 is a lot of money: I remember when I could buy 18 gallons (81 litres) of petrol for that!

I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope a couple of people stop sending me Christmas cards this year and that will allow me to ignore them next Christmas.

Christmas? Humbug! Angry