Have you all buggered off to Bournemouth without saying a word to me?
I get the picture.
Easter
Wha'dya mean? I've been talking to myself all weekend on here.
He has risen!
I couldn't get any reception.
I remember when the only shop that was open on Good Friday was the baker's, selling hot cross buns. Today the only shop that is closed is... ... the baker's.
And don't forget the candle stick maker
If you're looking for some entertainment this Easter Sunday, or wanting to give the family a fun day out, go down to your local supermarket and watch people trying to get in and looking bemused when they can't (even though large shops have never opened on Easter Sunday and opening on Easter Sunday was specifically banned under the Sunday Trading Act 1994). It's a great way of spending an hour or two.
It was last Easter when I went to the local garage to fill up with petrol but the operator didn't turn on the pump.
I went inside to ask and two coppers were telling the owner he'd been open for too long and must close up.