There are lots of adverts about at the moment for simple cremations - the main selling point being that they're a hell of a lot cheaper than a normal funeral.

I was watching an episode of "Still Game" recently and the characters were comparing the cost of a Co-op funeral with a simple cremation. The cost of the Co-op funeral was £1500 and the simple cremation was considerably cheaper This was in 2003.

I've just clicked on an advert for simple cremations and the cheapest one they offer involves no service, no mourners, no nothing and it costs £1500. Basically, all they do is take you to the crematorium and return your ashes to a recipient of your choice.

How the hell can that cost £1500?

Quote: Rood Eye @ 6th April 2019, 4:37 PM

There are lots of adverts about at the moment for simple cremations - the main selling point being that they're a hell of a lot cheaper than a normal funeral.

I was watching an episode of "Still Game" recently and the characters were comparing the cost of a Co-op funeral with a simple cremation. The cost of the Co-op funeral was £1500 and the simple cremation was considerably cheaper This was in 2003.

I've just clicked on an advert for simple cremations and the cheapest one they offer involves no service, no mourners, no nothing and it costs £1500. Basically, all they do is take you to the crematorium and return your ashes to a recipient of your choice.

How the hell can that cost £1500?

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With that in mind...if some thick little shit randomly shouts, "I hope you die in a fire!" at an elderly passerby...the response is very likely to be, "Me too, you little f**ker!"

I guess it's explained as all the cost of the gas for heating the oven.

What annoys me more is all the adverts for getting Funeral Insurance. Anong other things they say that funerals cost £3000 to £5000 and then describe the insurance as £ (small amount) per annum and then in small print (small voice?) they say per £1000 cover. In other words the real cost of the insurance is 3 to 5 times their "suggested" figure.

Personally I think you would be much better off putting the equivalent money into a savings account, instead of tying it up in something which only pays up if you die. From a savings account it might be useful to use it to pay for a medical process that would keep you alive, rather than save your kids the cost of sending you up in smoke.

How much polution does burning one human body cause anyway?

They have smoke burners in the crem.
I've commissioned quite a few crematorium ovens.
There is the oven gas burners then secondary ones that burn the smoke and deoderize the fumes.
You wouldn't want to smell meat cooking on your way out.

I'm donating most of what's left to medical research so hopefully there won't be anything left to burn/bury.

Quote: Chappers @ 7th April 2019, 11:20 PM

I'm donating most of what's left to medical research so hopefully there won't be anything left to burn/bury.

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Don't count on it, Chappers.

It was very decent of you to leave your body to science, but I hear science is contesting the will!