Plenty of Fish Page 3

Quote: Chappers @ 18th March 2019, 11:05 PM

Isn't it obvious? You're ideal for each other!

She lives too far away. He's having none of it.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 18th March 2019, 11:41 PM

I've just checked my map of Britain, Chappers, and I assure you we're not! Angry

I meant you and Old Lady Leg.

Quote: Chappers @ 19th March 2019, 9:45 PM

I meant you and Old Lady Leg.

I had a feeling you did.

Accordingly, I crafted my reply in such a way that it would apply in either case.

My message to all potential partners is inspired by the late great Dusty Springfield and it is this:

"You don't have to say you love me: just be close at hand because petrol isn't five bob a gallon any more."

Quote: Rood Eye @ 19th March 2019, 10:07 PM

I had a feeling you did.

Accordingly, I crafted my reply in such a way that it would apply in either case.

My message to all potential partners is inspired by the late great Dusty Springfield and it is this:

"You don't have to say you love me: just be close at hand because petrol isn't five bob a gallon any more."

Obviously...I'm crushed.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 20th March 2019, 9:35 AM

Obviously...I'm crushed.

Going from Dusty Springfield to Meat Loaf, I say "Don't be sad."

If I'm ever down your neck of the woods, I'll be happy to drop in for a cup of tea on a strictly "no shenanigans" basis.

Talking about your neck of the woods, many years ago I used to go out with a girl from that very county who had been at school with Kate Bush.

Kate was in her prime in those days.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 20th March 2019, 1:14 PM

Going from Dusty Springfield to Meat Loaf, I say "Don't be sad."

If I'm ever down your neck of the woods, I'll be happy to drop in for a cup of tea on a strictly "no shenanigans" basis.

Talking about your neck of the woods, many years ago I used to go out with a girl from that very county who had been at school with Kate Bush.

Kate was in her prime in those days.

Ah...well...I'm sure you realize my last comment was rather tongue-in-cheek. I'm really not looking for anything more than a good bit of banter on this forum, so you don't have to offer any distant hope. Plus the fact, there's a very good chance one or both of us will be dead by the time you've saved anywhere near enough dosh for the petrol. I'll just have to be strong <sniff>. ;-)

From Dusty Springfield to Meat Loaf and now a Gene Pitney reference!

Moving along, I've just had another look at the POF site and spotted a very attractive woman who has apparently been checking out my profile.

The snag is that she's infinitely more attractive on her main profile pic than she is on any of the other three pics she's supplied.

This is why I absolutely refuse to take an interest in anybody who has only one profile pic, no matter how attractive it appears. It might be entirely accurate, of course, but the chances are it's just a very flattering shot uploaded by the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Phoo, that sounds incredibly shallow rude boy.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 20th March 2019, 2:54 PM

This is why I absolutely refuse to take an interest in anybody who has only one profile pic, no matter how attractive it appears. It might be entirely accurate, of course, but the chances are it's just a very flattering shot uploaded by the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Not to mention how far away the black lagoon in which she lives might be from your own location. You say you want a woman who lives round the corner from you. I dunno...maybe it's a silly idea...but have you ever thought about simply walking round the corner to see if there's anyone you like the look of? It seems far more logical than sifting through a global selection of potentially ugly women every day...especially if they're all trying to deceive you with dodgy pics. I'm just trying to help...ya know.

I take your points, Stephen and Old Lady Leg.

I shall accordingly relax my selection criteria and extend my search into the real world.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 20th March 2019, 4:44 PM

I take your points, Stephen and Old Lady Leg.

I shall accordingly relax my selection criteria and extend my search into the real world.

Don't stop using POF if you're happy with it. I just think you'd have found a match by now if you really wanted to find someone. The fact you're umming and ahhing about this one and that surely means you're not REALLY that interested in finding a companion.

When I first split from my ex, my friend encouraged me to make a profile on Match dot com. We're talking about four years ago. I did it, but soon realized I'd have to pay to see any matches they found. F**k that. Pay money just to view a guy's profile? No way. Think of all the cardigans I wouldn't have been able to afford, if I'd kept paying for that shit! So, you see, the fact I didn't think it was worth it surely means I wasn't REALLY up for finding anyone.

You have to be serious about finding someone if you use these sites. Lots of people make amazing connections and would have spent the rest of their lives alone without them, but they're just not right for some people. They certainly don't exist purely for people to skip through potential matches like they're nothing. They could be really struggling with being single and feeling extremely lonely.

Blimey...four years. Cobwebs much!?

I did see one woman of my age who was stunning and extremely sexy looking. The photos were a great likeness, however the make up was a bit OTT and there was baggage. A shame really as she was a lovely woman.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 20th March 2019, 5:24 PM

Don't stop using POF if you're happy with it.

I'm not at all happy with it. It's bloody rubbish!

Having said that, it's like having a free entry in the national lottery every week - you don't expect to win the jackpot or any other decent prize but, nevertheless, you'd be crazy to give up your free ticket.

Looking back into the mists of time (screen goes all wiggly), there were literally millions of attractive young women milling around in the pubs and clubs of Great Britain. It's probably still like that today, of course, but the difference is that I'm no longer looking for attractive young women: I'm looking at attractive older women and hoping to find one that's available and sees some value in a relationship with me.

I'm also looking for one whose profile indicates that she has no difficulty putting her thoughts into words. Sadly, most of the ones who qualify on that front have profiles which are nothing more or less than a lengthy and incessant rant against all the useless bastard men they've encountered on POF.

I'm not asking for much - just an intelligent, eloquent, reasonably attractive friend with a good sense of humour.

But can I find one? Can I fiddlesticks! Angry

Quote: Rood Eye @ 20th March 2019, 8:32 PM

I'm not asking for much - just an intelligent, eloquent, reasonably attractive friend with a good sense of humour.

You've also said she needs to be very talented. Does this need to be any specific talent? I mean...would you be happy with someone who could...say...oh I dunno...burp the entire alphabet or, maybe, pick up random objects with just their earlobes?

Wouldn't it be easier to simply give up?

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 20th March 2019, 9:28 PM

You've also said she needs to be very talented. Does this need to be any specific talent? I mean...would you be happy with someone who could...say...oh I dunno...burp the entire alphabet or, maybe, pick up random objects with just their earlobes?

What I said was that perhaps I need a woman comedian, in which case she'd have to be extremely talented (at comedy, obviously).

If anyone comes along who isn't a comedian, her talents in all subjects will be acceptable if they lie within the normal range.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 20th March 2019, 9:28 PM

Wouldn't it be easier to simply give up?

No matter what one is attempting to achieve, it's always easier simply to give up.