I didn't know what to call this thread...and I'm sure there's a similar thread that deals with this subject, but do you ever obsess over a situation that irks you, only to prevent a good outcome when it's offered? I do. It's like I need something to moan about and would miss it if it went away. So I'll start...and tell you about the most recent time it happened to me.

I need to walk from one end of town to the other to drop my daughter off at school. My neighbour drives down to the paper shop every morning, also at the other end of town. Now...she knows we both need to go to the same place every single morning, but has never offered me a lift in her car. She even says hello to me as I'm on my way back...AS SHE'S GETTING BACK INTO HER CAR to drive to the house next to mine.

The other day, she finally offered me a lift back when it was pissing down with rain...and do you know what I said? Hmmm? After all the years of brooding over her lack of car-sharing. I smiled and said, "No, you're all right, I need the exercise!"...then casually walked off, with no umbrella, already soaked to the skin from walking down there in the first place and genuinely wanting to headbutt the nearest wall for being so ME!

"NO! F you"....................but it was a moral victory.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 14th February 2019, 9:25 AM

"NO! F you"....................but it was a moral victory.

View original

I guess, but I do this sort of thing all the time. My inner me loves the drama...so my outer me assists with smiles and indifference.

Btw...I tried to edit the title to put an exclamation mark instead of a question mark, but it won't change. Another thing to gripe about for weeks on end, whilst waiting for someone to ask if I want it changed...just so I can say, "Nah, it's okay...I honestly don't mind." Bleh.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 14th February 2019, 9:49 AM

Btw...I tried to edit the title to put an exclamation mark instead of a question mark, but it won't change.

View original

No, that's right you cannot edit the title - I've been caught out like that myself in the "early days". If it IS a big deal () Aaron will change it for you if you ask him nicely, or wave a purple one in his direction.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 14th February 2019, 12:26 PM

No, that's right you cannot edit the title - I've been caught out like that myself in the "early days". If it IS a big deal () Aaron will change it for you if you ask him nicely, or wave a purple one in his direction.

View original

Please, no euphemisms this early in the day.

Quote: Old Lady Leg @ 14th February 2019, 9:49 AM

Btw...I tried to edit the title to put an exclamation mark instead of a question mark, but it won't change. Another thing to gripe about for weeks on end, whilst waiting for someone to ask if I want it changed...just so I can say, "Nah, it's okay...I honestly don't mind." Bleh.

View original

I changed it for you.
Now I shall go and slightly worry about whether you would have preferred I leave it.

There's the other side of the coin to that tale though.

Years ago, when I worked in a factory - a worker I didn't know told me he lived by me and had seen me driving past him each morning while he was waiting for the bus.
He asked if it was ok if I would give him a lift home that night.

I was a bit trapped, so said sure.
He was waiting by my car when I finished work.
On the journey home he told me he finished half an hour before me but he didn't mind waiting (Nice of him to wait - he could have already have been home on the bus by now)
And I thought that was that.

Next night, he was there again.. waiting patiently by the passenger door.
This time during the journey he said could I pick him up at the bus stop in the morning. (as I was already passing)

I changed my route to not go past the bus stop and he came and found me at work to tell me he had missed the bus waiting for me. He was a bit annoyed.
Next morning, there was a knock at the door at 7:00AM. Yep him
I wasn't getting passed him this time
My wife was still in her nighty so I didn't let him in. (His face registered more annoyance)

Honestly, he had the cheek to tell me he was always hard up and the saving on bus fares really helped. (never offered any money for the lifts)

By Friday, I'd had enough. He was waiting by my car after work
I said 'I'm sorry, I can't give you a lift anymore' 'why?' in the most incredulous voice
I had no other excuse so said 'because I don't want to.

I remember his reply to this day... 'well stick your f**king car right up your f**king arse you miserable tight c**t'

Sorted

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th February 2019, 2:13 PM

By Friday, I'd had enough. He was waiting by my car after work
I said 'I'm sorry, I can't give you a lift anymore' 'why?' in the most incredulous voice
I had no other excuse so said 'because I don't want to.

I remember his reply to this day... 'well stick your f**king car right up your f**king arse you miserable tight c**t'

Sorted

View original

Like it! But what Steve left out of the tale was that the "liftee" was the local Methodist lay preacher.

That's given me my laugh for the day. It's amazing how brass-necked some people can be about getting lifts.

No where near as impressive but here's my story. When we were getting the cellar converted, the main joiner used to show up at half past 6 every morning, so over the months it took, we were exhausted from the early rises. You could be in the toilet and hear the rickety van coming down the street, so there'd be a scramble. All the neighbours were impressed that he'd start so early. We knew he made a cup of tea when he arrived (the workmen were left to see to themselves in the kitchen as required) but what it took us ages to discover was that he'd make his tea then sit down in the cellar reading his Daily Record till EIGHT O'CLOCK at which time he'd start work. He was a good workman though.

Quote: zooo @ 14th February 2019, 12:45 PM

I changed it for you.
Now I shall go and slightly worry about whether you would have preferred I leave it.

View original

Thanks so much. No, I really mean it. I do. :-)

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th February 2019, 2:13 PM

I had no other excuse so said 'because I don't want to.

View original

Now, THAT is so me. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion the only thing you can say to people who just won't leave off, is, "I don't want to." Even then, some people still come back with, "But, if you just..." and it can take a good few...but I still don't want tos...until they finally get the message.

A mum at the school is constantly asking me to go to her house for a bottle of wine (or ten, I fear) in the evenings. I started by politely telling her all sorts of different reasons, like...I'm busy tonight (never busy)...I have family over (I don't have any family)...My kids don't like me to go out in the evenings (they couldn't give a f**k). You see where I'm going with this. She's one of these people who just keeps saying, "Yeah...so if you pop over at about..." like I hadn't even said no in the first place...like she can't hear a NO to any question she asks. I'd say, "But I already have things going on tonight, though." She'd reply again with, "Well...I can come to you at around, say, 7?" ...and so it would continue and my inner me would be like...CAN YOU HEAR ME, MATE!!

So, yes, my 'go to' reply now is always, "I don't want to." Even then, I put a slight grin on to help the situation, which can often lead to them thinking they can still persuade me. I think I'm at an age now when I just want to be impenetrable in every way possible! Yes ALL!

Quote: Briosaid @ 14th February 2019, 4:29 PM

That's given me my laugh for the day. It's amazing how brass-necked some people can be about getting lifts.

No where near as impressive but here's my story. When we were getting the cellar converted, the main joiner used to show up at half past 6 every morning, so over the months it took, we were exhausted from the early rises. You could be in the toilet and hear the rickety van coming down the street, so there'd be a scramble. All the neighbours were impressed that he'd start so early. We knew he made a cup of tea when he arrived (the workmen were left to see to themselves in the kitchen as required) but what it took us ages to discover was that he'd make his tea then sit down in the cellar reading his Daily Record till EIGHT O'CLOCK at which time he'd start work. He was a good workman though.

View original

The thing is, he knew he could be found out at any time and still just turned up early and sat there for a couple of hours anyway.

In the 'don't want to' vein, you'll all hate me for this but ... every so often some dog charity comes along to hang around the door of Morrison - it's something like 'pay for a dog for the rest of your life till you starve to death because you've no money left'. Anyway I finally found the way to shut them up and leave me alone, is to look them straight in the eye and say, 'I don't like dogs.' They have no reply to that.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th February 2019, 2:13 PM

'well stick your f**king car right up your f**king arse you miserable tight c**t'

View original

What a tosser for talking to you like that even after you had already helped him out. He sounds like a total user and I'm sure his boss would have been interested to hear about his little outburst. Some people are selfish and it's why giving regular lifts to colleagues can be more trouble than it's worth. Even if you live in the same direction sometimes you might need to pop to the supermarket or pick someone up or go to the gym so it's not convenient to give them a lift every day which they soon start to expect even if they're not giving you a penny. I like the solitude of my morning drive to work alone when I can wake up and have a singalong to the radio which I can't do with passengers. I used to give a colleague a lift to and from work everyday because we lived almost next door to each other and made an agreement of £10 a week. Even though it was saving him £10 a week because the weekly bus card was £20 and shaving an hour travel off the journey each day he still hated giving me the money. He was the tightest sod I've ever met but to make it worse he started complaining I was picking him up too late as he liked to get to work 30 minutes early and wanted us to leave earlier. I told him it was my car and I decided when I left in the morning. If he didn't like it he can buy his own car. A few weeks later he bought his own car.

There is a big parking problem where I work because there are far more cars than spaces and a campaign to get people to car share didn't have any effect. They had to make an agreement with a nearby supermarket to allow staff to use their carpark.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 14th February 2019, 9:23 PM

he started complaining I was picking him up too late as he liked to get to work 30 minutes early and wanted us to leave earlier.

View original

See, this is the thing...it's so hard to get the balance right when giving regular lifts to people. I'm the type of person who wouldn't want to be reliant on someone giving me a lift all the time, in case one day they couldn't. I think empathy is the key, here. Would I want to feel trapped in an arrangement, where I started to feel my own personal life came after someone else's? Nope. So why would I expect someone else to feel happy about it? I wouldn't.

I don't drive, anyway, so I will never buy a car...but if someone pulls up at the bus-stop and offers me a quick lift somewhere, I'm grateful. Plus, I'm already a big girl, so if I went everywhere by car, I'd be as fat as a barrel!

, I'm already a big girl, so if I went everywhere by car, I'd be as fat as a barrel!

Oooh, say again slow.