Disability T-shirts?

Looking for suggestions of what a comedy loving disabled person may have on his T-Shirt?
Eg:
I cant stand being in a wheelchair
Should have taken a parachute
I want my first time to be special
I tried to lick a train
My Ears work perfectly
My Other chair is another chair

.................................

Liked 1 & 6,
Is this for you?

My efforts...

Lazy bastard
or
Born lazy
or
This is how i roll
or
Drinking in comfort since 2002 (change date as appropriate)
or
If found drunk without chair - do not try and walk me home
or
Brains, looks and charisma - with the mobility of a Darlek...
or
That's the last time i go on 'The Jump'

Liking your 3,5,and 6!
Its a for a character I'm writing to be wearing a different shirt every so often!

Sausage works!
On the Run.
Excuse me if I dont get up

Eats
Shoots
Wheels

On the rear of the chair: "My other chair is a Sinclair C5"

I tried a 2-wheel bicycle, but I kept falling off.

or
"Don't ask"
or
National anthem dodger

FRANKIE
SAYS
RELAPSE