I always wonder how they got that old nursery rhyme so wrong..

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross..

I mean, ride a horse's cock to Banbury Cross..

That's better, I mean I can see that (can't taste it, but I can see it..) etc.

New porno where the actress lets her pubes grow back and is then eaten out. It's called 'A Breath Of Fresh 'Air'.

Quote: Frankie Mildly Perturbed @ 24th February 2018, 3:10 PM

I always wonder how they got that old nursery rhyme so wrong..

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I convinced Sarah Jessica Parker to go on top. I said, Ride a cock, horse.

Neat!

How many unknowable beings does it take to change a light bulb?

I expect you can work that out for yourself.

I convinced Sarah Jessica Parker to give Walt Disney a blow job but she spat. You can lead a horse to Walter...

If a guy says he loves all quilts, it's a blanket statement.
If a guy says he loves all brooms, it's a sweeping generalisation.
If a guy says he loves all One Direction, it's a total c**t.

Not everybody appreciates a perfect pair of socks.

Golfers love a hole in one..

How many holes on a golf course? 18, and an unlimted number of arseholes.

Playing golf is like foraging for a partner in night clubs..

There's always the rough, oh yes.. and there's often that long shot you do actually pull off, and if you keep doing the rounds, well, you'll get into quite a few holes; and sometimes it's a real doddle and you get it into the hole first time of trying, golfers find.

I've written a book to eradicate poncy, pretentious Latin phrases from English. It's my magnum opus.

I hid a watch in my dad's forsk. The cock is ticking.

If someone 'tocks' first instead of 'ticks' first, how do you know?

-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick

I've got a sketch

Child under 11: mum what are anal beads

*Studio erupts with laughter*

mum: *face scrunches slightly* I don't know, maybe you should ask your father

*Studio erupts with laughter*

Or ask your farter, even..

I always add a touch of kwality..

47% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. The rest enjoy it.