Tell us a joke Page 207

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 4th February 2018, 10:48 AM

Castration leftovers?

Most probably.

How many Spanish chefs does it take to bake a Victoria cream sponge cake? Juan.

How many Spanish chefs does it take to bake two Victoria cream sponge cakes? Juan and Juan.

How many Spanish firemen does it take to put out a burning Victoria cream sponge cake? Juan and Jose.

A man thinks about sex once every 8 minutes. That's crap porn he's watching.

A man thinks, therefore he wanks.

Used porn. Second hand job.

Incest. I can relate to that.

I had to report the disappearance of the Invisible Man. What's the point?

Does he have a point?

If he gets his point out no one can see it!

Imagine no one being able to see you get your point across. Whoa!

ooo.. Michael..

I don't understand the invisible man when he ejaculates. I can't see where he's coming from.

I told John Gordon Sinclair I wouldn't be able to see him playing the Invisible Man! True!

Unintentional joke but he smiled as if I was being clever. Me?

Quote: Chappers @ 11th February 2018, 9:25 PM

Unintentional joke but he smiled as if I was being clever. Me?

A lot of funny ideas come out of normal conversation. I used to have a bit of stand-up: 'Everyone who saw The Spice Girls film said, 'It's not very good...' Of course it's not very good, it's the Spice Girls film, what did you expect? Ingmar Bergman script, Ken Loach social commentary, Fellini camerawork...' It occured to me cos I was indeed talking about Spice and the guy made said comment on said film. The humour in it really struck me, and I say that with all due respect to the Spice Girls.

Now they've been around for quite awhile is one of them 'Old Spice' ...

[quote name="Frankie Mildly Perturbed" post="1186616" date="14th February 2018, 3:27 AM" ] 'Old Spice' ...[/quote]
My choice of aftershave reflects my masturbatory habits.

When I suggested my mother fellate a household appliance, she blew a fuse.

I dated an italic, but it wasn't my type.
I dated a frog, but it wasn't Kermitted.
I dated a One Direction fan, but it was a total c**t.