Tell us a joke Page 205

I might have done this before, so apologies, but it came ito my head again today:

Only 13 sleeps until the Narcoleptics Society Christmas party!! It's tomorrow.

Did you sleep well? - I don't know.

What's another word for spade? See?

I started today by seeing which Spice Girls' shoes are easiest to wank over. I need to get off on the right foot.

You know you're getting old when you can't recognise anyone in the new Band Aid video except Bob Geldof.

Who's Bob Geldof?

Ha!
I never remember any rock 'n' roll songs. Ain't that a shame.

What's the difference between 'The Best of the 70s' and a tampon? A tampon might have wings on it.

Quote: gappy @ 16th December 2017, 1:39 PM

I might have done this before, so apologies, but it came ito my head again today:

Only 13 sleeps until the Narcoleptics Society Christmas party!! It's tomorrow.

Laughing out loud Cracking gag gappy.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 28th December 2017, 12:31 PM

What's the difference between 'The Best of the 70s' and a tampon? A tampon might have wings on it.

Good gag but being pedantic, tampons don't have wings, change it to 'sanitary towels' and you're in.

Quote: Will Cam @ 28th December 2017, 2:26 PM

Good gag but being pedantic, tampons don't have wings, change it to 'sanitary towels' and you're in.

Are you disguising yourself as a sanitary towel?

They've invented the self-ejecting tampon. No strings attached. (Sorry if that's a repeat but it's Christmas).

I tell my mother jokes about jizz. She laps it up.

If jizz dribbles out of a hole in the ground, is it wellcome?

My DVD player won't read DVDs, so I bought a DVD cleaner. Bastard won't read that either.

David Bowie and I were watching Much Ado About Nothing when a female character left her purse onstage. I said, Whose is that? David shrugged: Could be Hero's.

My first anal was with an elephant. - Me too. Snap!