Tell us a joke Page 202

I went to a short-sighted circumciser... Can I have my ball back please?

My mother can't choose between Africans or Eskimoes, so she blows hot and cold.

What do you call an ugly fat alcoholic c**t who's obsessed with the Spice Girls and keeps contributing to a thread after no one else gives a f**k?

What's the difference between herpes and Jordan? Herpes might go away.

Why aren't Billie Piper and I happy with one Christmas present? Because we want two.

I didn't have the courage to throw my sperm away. I bottled it.

Sitcom about a couple of virgins who try anal. Two broke girls.
What's the difference between mistletoe and camel toe? You kiss Grandma UNDER the mistletoe.

I want to scrape jizz off a Stephen King character. - Come off It.

They sold a phoney set of scales. Never gotta weigh with it.

It was my son who bonked you. - Yer kid in me.

My mother says renting rooms is like sex. You never remember who you let in.

My mother won a contest to wank off the hardest guy in town. Beat off some stiff competition.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 27th October 2017, 3:11 PM

Sitcom about a couple of virgins who try anal. Two broke girls.
What's the difference between mistletoe and camel toe? You kiss Grandma UNDER the mistletoe.

Ha!

Thanks! There are no flies on me today. That's why I just pissed my pants.

A poem:

When was Homer writing porn?
Right when Rosie fingered Dawn.

It's all Greek to me.
I am now officially Italian. 15 years ago I bought Dantè's Divine Comedy, placed it lovingly on my shelf, and ain't touched the f**ker once since.