UKTV Gold Christmas Cracker Joke Competition Page 9

Yeah, I saw that.
If I send one joke, I ain't got a cat in Hell's chance.
If I send 46968 jokes, I ain't got a cat in Hell's chance.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 12th October 2017, 7:10 PM

It's back.
Only one gag this time, unless I've misunderstood.

No that's correct for your bondage session.

It says multiple entries are allowed. Where are you getting that you can only submit one joke Michael?

[[[It's in the T&Cs, Will. I quoted it in my post above.]]]

Scrap that. It seems they've changed their mind. I just checked the T&Cs again and it's been changed.

Go forth and multiply your entries.

Quote: Chappers @ 14th October 2017, 7:58 PM

No that's correct for your bondage session.

I didn't want to try bondage, but my hands were tied.
Looks like they have multiple entries, like my mother.

I have entered this for the first time and put more than one on. The more I tweet the worse they get.

I sent half a dozen in. I was amazed to see how many people hadn't read the terms and conditions that clearly stated that jokes had to be Christmas themed and family friendly.

Quote: Will Cam @ 3rd November 2017, 4:22 PM

I sent half a dozen in. I was amazed to see how many people hadn't read the terms and conditions that clearly stated that jokes had to be Christmas themed and family friendly.

I put one rude one. Got carried away..thought about it next day and deleted it. It was terrible terrible awful - what did Santa say to Mrs Claus on their honeymoon? I'm feeling a bit fes-stiff.

:(

I put one non Christmas-themed one on but tried to Christmas theme the others. The non Christmas themed one was so corny I couldn't bear to take it off. Love cracker jokes! This competition was such fun..

Will Cam I really like your Trump cracker joke. I wouldn't be surprised if that didn't make the top 10.

I can't be bothered entering i'll just post it here
Santa why have i just got a wooden toy horse?
because I am the real Santa, I'm old saint Nick himself I'm over 100 years old and I have been delivering wooden toy horses for all that time. This is the true meaning of Xmas
I want Nike shoes can you make that out of wood?
Well actually I can here you go two wooden Nike shoes got logo right and everything
Oh okay .... thanks
Your welcome
Merry Christmas

Bum! Only just saw this. Too late!

Quote: Chris Hallam @ 8th November 2017, 10:14 AM

Bum! Only just saw this. Too late!

Always 2018

Quote: comedywriter dude @ 5th November 2017, 6:50 AM

I can't be bothered entering i'll just post it here
Santa why have i just got a wooden toy horse?
because I am the real Santa, I'm old saint Nick himself I'm over 100 years old and I have been delivering wooden toy horses for all that time. This is the true meaning of Xmas
I want Nike shoes can you make that out of wood?
Well actually I can here you go two wooden Nike shoes got logo right and everything
Oh okay .... thanks
Your welcome
Merry Christmas

Firstly - surely brevity is the rule.

And secondly what on earth does it mean? Punctuation might help but I can't even find a joke there.

Quote: Chappers @ 8th November 2017, 6:53 PM

Firstly - surely brevity is the rule.

And secondly what on earth does it mean? Punctuation might help but I can't even find a joke there.

There is a joke thereSmarmy

Quote: BTF @ 4th November 2017, 6:13 PM

Will Cam I really like your Trump cracker joke. I wouldn't be surprised if that didn't make the top 10.

Cheers BTF, very kind of you.

Quote: comedywriter dude @ 5th November 2017, 6:50 AM

Santa why have i just got a wooden toy horse?
because I am the real Santa, I'm old saint Nick himself I'm over 100 years old and I have been delivering wooden toy horses for all that time. This is the true meaning of Xmas
I want Nike shoes can you make that out of wood?
Well actually I can here you go two wooden Nike shoes got logo right and everything
Oh okay .... thanks
Your welcome
Merry Christmas

Bound to win, that one. I don't know why anyone else bothers.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th November 2017, 11:26 AM

Bound to win, that one. I don't know why anyone else bothers.

It will, however, need a pretty massive f**king cracker.

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