Playfull has just set up a KKK Pink supremacy splinter group.

Firkin causes chaos in local Specsavers...

Playfull's new girlfriend has just dumped him.

Firkin's monopolizing of the UK's hair care market tightens even further with the signing of an exclusive deal for the much sought after "Vince Cable slap head grooming kit".

Speaking from his recently opened Southern headquarters, a partially renovated railway carriage behind the car wash at Chieveley Services, Firkin remains optimistic regarding the future of the company, suggesting its flotation sometime post Brexit.

Major investment companies however are calling for his resignation following suggestions of several badgers and a newt being forcibly removed from the site of his new HQ.

As a leading expert on super cranial dysfunction Hildegard Titweavil was recently called in to examine US President Donald J Trump. After an exhausting battery of tests Hildegard's prognosis was that the President should immediately stop picking his nose to prevent his head caving in...

Playfull use to collect handles in his radio hey day. But now he has conceded TV is here to stay, he's a knob collector.

Firkin is the only known sufferer of 'Stufflexia'. This is the severe inability to order items correctly. For instance he keeps a book given to him by an old girlfriend on his bedside table pressed between two flowers. He also completely failed to get away on holiday last year when he put his luggage in the car and his wife and children on the roof rack. Worst still some of his best posts on this thread have been removed as off topic after he made brilliantly funny but unfounded claims about the poster below him.

Luckily this bizarre ailment has not affected his job as a supermarket product/aisle layout planner...

In an attempt to digest weightier literature Playfull once ate the entire works of Shakespeare. He initially thought it was Much to do about nothing, until the 12 Night (of stomach aches). A Doctor's assessment of his stool stated it was a very good read, or was that a good bleed ? But he clearly needs to relax his Titus Andronicus, otherwise this Henry VI stool (cockney slang for "stiff ") would have to come out in two parts. Consequently Palyfull has decided to stay digital, as he can eat as much data as he wants and he already has ever virus going, so what the hell !

Bon viveur, raconteur and wit Freddy Firkin is well-known for his travelogues "Firkin Off" and "Firkin About", but also worth a read are his memoirs of editing a women's magazine: "Firkin Elle".

SSTT put running-boards on his dog but escaped the RSPCA SS squad because he bribed the local branch with almond Magnums. His dog incidentally went on to become a bit of a celebrity which was fine, until he was invited to drive past the Dallas Book Repository on November 22nd 1963 and accidently sheared a lug-nut on the grassy knoll. He never did find out what happened to it.

Will Cam volunteers at his local Samaritans, where his nickname is the off'er...

Extending the dope testing at international athletic meetings to also include officials has been met with stern opposition by the British Athletics Association claiming that playfull's wounding of three 1500m finalists last year was in fact down to a mechanical failure of the pistol and in no way influenced by his reliance on Night Nurse and laxatives.

After a troubled few years running the customer complaints department for Ryanair (where it turned out most complaints were actually about the complaints department) Hildegard Titweavil has recently been moved to Pilots scheduling and holiday allocation. Well at least Hildegard can't cause any problems there...

Whilst others enjoy talking about comedywriting , Playfull prefers to leads from the front like a comedy scud missile. North Korea have recently signed up Playfull as court jester. Only yesterday Kim (he's a man) said "His comedy is to die for. We will propel his career all the way to America. Just watch him explode onto Broadway, just after testing. Trump is not the only one that can say 'you're fired.' " [evil laughter]

Firkin's surname is 'Eck'.