Quote: Firkin @ 14th May 2017, 1:46 PM

Davida you are exactly how I'd pictured you (your avatar tipped me off). But I am taken aback as to how sooooooooooo American your cardigan looks. Mind you If I was staying at fopdoodle, I'd want proof she wasn't a cartoon, because they don't take anything seriously. Mind you a cartoon dog would go down well on Britains got Talent, so fopdoodle PM me if you're a cartoon, I'll make us rich.

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I can only confirm that I am not a dog . . . and you can interpret that in whatever way you choose . . .

Just spent a stressful - and back aching - morning changing my duvet cover. There must be an easier way!

Quote: zooo @ 14th May 2017, 12:24 PM

I quite often forget what gender some people are on here. Especially if names are ambiguous (like mine is).
What gender am I again...?

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No worries mate. From me first day here to a bit "ron"* I thought you were a fella, ergo the bp musta been an iron. But then I twigged and not an iota it made.

*Ron = Australian slang for "later on" -- an indeterminate time, the duration of which lies in the lies of the liar.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 15th May 2017, 12:41 PM

Just spent a stressful - and back aching - morning changing my duvet cover. There must be an easier way!

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Move to the tropics? If you like it a bit soft, bedwise, temp-wise and otherwise?

Quote: Davida Grimes @ 13th May 2017, 8:16 PM

I probably already screwed myself over by making myself sound like an absolute nutter on this thread

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Over the years I've thrown a few "free to nutters" vouchers around this shop, but no takers. Strike, we all like a change, but hiking across this poxy planet can't change the woes when change must start from within, as Penelope Pitstop used to flay. That said, no Edinburgh or Hindenburg, but a change of scene, no worries.

Quote: keewik @ 14th May 2017, 11:31 AM

I think you should do it., and how about adding a few whoopee cushions while you're at it?

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Tempting if it would recreate 'that' scene from Blazing Saddles but tinkering with peoples chairs is probably crossing the line. It's happend to mine before when someone has borrowed it and it can take ages to get it right again so I don't get backache. I don't understand how some people like to sit so low down they are practically on the floor and don't use the back support.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 15th May 2017, 12:41 PM

Just spent a stressful - and back aching - morning changing my duvet cover. There must be an easier way!

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There is... Take a look at some of these YouTube videos.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+change+a+duvet+cover

Quote: billwill @ 15th May 2017, 9:54 PM

There is... Take a look at some of these YouTube videos.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+change+a+duvet+cover

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Typical Yank "English" with this one though, as she can't make up her mind and calls it a Burrito (thought that was a donkey ) or Comforter (baby's dummy?) and yet says she is putting it in a DUVET cover.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRPfudNNd8Y&t=7s

YEAH.............................that pisses me off.

It all looks very precarious to me. If I don't post again, you'll know I've rolled myself up inside the cover.

DUVET cover that is.

Today being a holiday, I was subjected to a plague of arseholes on my voyage round the shops. First there were all the big fat arses (and they were) in Aldi, doddering in my way. Then in Morrison's I was plagued by the numpties who stand for 10 hours staring at a shelf/fridge but standing 2/3 feet from the shelf which means you can only get past by being badmannered and walking between them and their object of study. This is a regular problem and, I have to say, it's usually men. So ... all you men, what is it that makes you do this? Why can't you stand close to the shelf OR make up your mind and buy the bloody thing?

Quote: keewik @ 26th May 2017, 9:35 PM

Today being a holiday, I was subjected to a plague of arseholes on my voyage round the shops. First there were all the big fat arses (and they were) in Aldi, doddering in my way. Then in Morrison's I was plagued by the numpties who stand for 10 hours staring at a shelf/fridge but standing 2/3 feet from the shelf which means you can only get past by being badmannered and walking between them and their object of study. This is a regular problem and, I have to say, it's usually men. So ... all you men, what is it that makes you do this? Why can't you stand close to the shelf OR make up your mind and buy the bloody thing?

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I am not to blame. I walk as if I am driving a car so as to avoid conflict. When my mother turns up unexpectedly with a bag it is like someone grabbing hold of the wheel. This didn't come to me directly. After 22 years of walking to work along Victoria Street often against the tide of pedestrians, I realised that I was naturally negotiating the terrain as if I were a dribbler on a football pitch. Weave in. Weave out. This only stopped when a senior manager said he had spotted me and wondered from the way I was moving whether there was something seriously wrong. I walked 13 miles today on my own towards the countryside just to see if I could do it. It showed me all of the ailments I have but also I was glad to have done it. Stopping off for an occasional pint, it is clear from tapes that this nation of all ages (because mainly the bar staff are very young) is hiding in 1971 and who would blame it. It's all James Taylor and Crosby Stills and Nash. No TV or radio.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 26th May 2017, 9:46 PM

I am not to blame. I walk as if I am driving a car so as to avoid conflict. When my mother turns up unexpectedly with a bag it is like someone grabbing hold of the wheel. This didn't come to me directly. After 22 years of walking to work along Victoria Street often against the tide of pedestrians, I realised that I was naturally negotiating the terrain as if I were a dribbler on a football pitch. Weave in. Weave out. This only stopped when a senior manager said he had spotted me and wondered from the way I was moving whether there was something seriously wrong. I walked 13 miles today on my own towards the countryside just to see if I could do it. It showed me all of the ailments I have but also I was glad to have done it. Stopping off for an occasional pint, it is clear from tapes that this nation of all ages (because mainly the bar staff are very young) is hiding in 1971 and who would blame it. It's all James Taylor and Crosby Stills and Nash. No TV or radio.

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I'm the same and will expertly dodge people in supermarkets. I've managed to avert a few accidents by seeing it coming and taking evasive action either to protect myself or some absent minded person walking around like Mr Magoo who carries on none the wiser. I don't go to places like Lidl and Aldi much because their aisles are always too narrow and get clogged up. Then there is the guaranteed 5-10 minute wait at the checkout. They are not places to just pop in for a pint of milk or spot of lunch but a new Lidl opened near me a few months ago that had been in construction on a huge site for well over a year. It boasts a cafe and nappy changing facilities (fancy) but I'll be surprised if the aisles have been widened or they have introduced self service checkouts so someone can nip in for one item without getting entangled in trollies and overflowing conveyor belts at the tills.

13 miles is a monster ramble. Well done! Going for long walks is great for mind and body. When I was in Stroud I lived a few miles from Slad where Laurie Lee grew up and I would jog past a pub he used to visit. A church on one side and rolling hills on the other couldn't get more countrysideish and I always planned to stop off there for a cider but never did and am now living in Gloucester. I used to be in the middle of the Five Valleys but now I live a stones throw from Cromwell Street which is worlds apart from the charm of Stroud. It has a high crime rate and the motiviation to get outdoors and go for long walks or jogs has deteriorated a lot. I went for a run tonight (longest one yet) on the main roads and could feel the car fumes hitting the back of my throat so I need to either join a gym or find a field somewhere.

I used to look down my nose at Aldi, thought it must be rubbish because it was cheap.I'm now an addict. I don't find the aisles at all cramped and extra checkouts get opened as required and move quickly. I always marvel at how little I pay for heaps of fruit and veg. However one of the great delights is the spacious car parking. Having said that, I was recently in an Aldi in Exeter and the parking was minimal and tight. Maybe I'm lucky having a fairly new Aldi locally.

I miss Netto. Now that was cheap but there were some bargins to be had especially on booze. It was also the kind of place you made sure your valuables were zipped up and secure on you while shopping there. The last time I was in a Netto I saw a couple putting items in a compartment on the pram they were pushing. Some in the basket, some in the pram. It was pretty clear they were going to steal it but I didn't say anything because by then I was in dispair with the way Netto stores were being managed. Normally I would say something if I saw a shoplifter but the store had no security guards and the staff were probably trained to not challenge shopfliters so I thought what was the point telling them. They were so busy it would have cost them a fortune to stop serving customers and the thieves would have got caught eventually because they didn't look the brightest in the land of CCTV.

I'll give the new Lidl a try this weekend because I do like to see what they have on offer. They can be great for Christmas presents and are always air conditioned.

Can't say that I've ever had a problem in an American supermarket. Wide aisles + general politeness = enjoyable experience.

I'm going to refrain making a wide aisle/USA gag. Doh!

A mate went on honeymoon to Texas and when I asked what it was like he said it was surreal because of all the people he met that were really nice and friendly while openly carrying guns. He said he was at a supermarket and a truck pulled up with some guys carrying shotguns on their sholders who just strolled in to buy something before driving off.