Another Newsjacker...

Here's my sketch that I wrote for last week's episode (obvs didn't make it on the episode) - any thoughts?

https://steviecookedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/stevie_cooke_southern_fail.pdf

Good effort on this. I thought the gags were a bit underdeveloped though- more could have been made of the train of thought beat. Enjoyed the last line too. Nice, simple sketch.

Thanks for the feedback - really helpful. I do think I have a tendency to work towards the end gag, but not pay as much attention to the earlier ones.

Hi Stevie,

Will read the sketch properly later but I would advise you to remove your email address - internet safety and all that.

Good point Will Cam.I really liked the sketch. It was neatly put together and well structured. I too thought it would be good if the train of thought had more of a joke developed. It wasn't enough of a joke as it was. I liked the circus train bit. I lwondered if the jokes could be developed a bit more and maybe also link to someone or something else in the news in some way to add more interest and even more relevance . However, I tend to overdo things, I think, so my ideas may not be the best!. Maybe the conversation between the commuters could also link to something current and relevant too but still be funny.

Haha - yes. I probably should remove my email! Didn't think about that! Thanks for all the feedback - hopefully it will help with this week's sketch. I'd love to sit in on an editorial meeting at Newsjack and see how they choose their sketches. Has anyone on here sat in on one?

Not in my case. I have been trying for two series and not got anything on.