Newsjack Critique

If you're on here
And you write for Newsjack

Please pop your rejected sketches on Critique
If you don't mind

Critique is one of the best forums on here when it gets some attention
The more people that post, the more people that will give some feedback

Great idea Steve. I haven't had much of a chance to submit sketches for Newsjack, its mainly been the one liners.I think strange sketches on surreal flights of fancy are more my area so I struggle a bit when it comes to satire. Here's a Wayne Rooney one I submitted a couple of weeks ago....

ANGELA: This week Wayne Rooney scored his two hundred and fiftieth goal for Manchester United which sees him surpass the tally scored by club legend Sir Bobby Charlton. We caught up with Wayne who told us just how much the record means to him.

ROONEY:: Well as I said before like I'm delighted to be top scorer for Man United and tha'. Growing up in Liverpool as an Everton supporter I always dreamt of being Man United's top scorer.

ANGELA: And what a goal it was to break the record. A thunderbolt right into the top corner to draw with Stoke.

ROONEY: Exactly and tha'. Being young earlier in my life I always wanted to play against the big clubs. Barcelona, Real Madrid, AC Milan so to break the record and at the same time draw level with a team as big as Stoke makes it extra special.

ANGELA: Did Sir Bobby have any words of encouragement for you after the match?

ROONEY: And tha'. Sir Bobby was a player before I was born and I always dreamt of scoring more goals that players who played before I was born and Sir Bobby is right up there with them.

ANGELA: And did he have any wisdom to impart?

ROONEY: Well as I said before I have scored one more than him now so I imparted one more bit of wisdom to him that he did to me.

ANGELA: I don't think it works like that.

ROONEY: As I said before I think it works like that and tha'.

ANGELA: Alright. Well whats next for Wayne Rooney? Where do you go from here?

ROONEY: There's a lovely cream bun over there on the table so I'm going to have that and then go to the toilet.

ANGELA: Well thank you for talking to us today.

ROONEY: And tha'.

END

It's a bit 'tennis dialogue' but the cream bun line really, really tickled me (which probably says more about me!).

Enjoyed this Rooney sketch a great deal - spot on but (as I think you allude too) may not be the best fit for a gag-oriented topical show like NJ as opposed to a sketch show with a more consistent tone and emphasis on mimickry & characters where you could keep going back to the well.

Thanks for the comments folks. Yep, satire definitely isn't a natural fit for me but I will plough on and see what happens. Now if it was a show about a public speaker with a swan in his leg or a man whose only happy when his on stairs or a person whose hair gets wet when he talks about tennis; then I think I'd have a fair old shot.